westerfield
Mar 9, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Many people are moving to big cities. Why is that? [4]
Many people are moving to big cities. Why is that? Do you think it is a good trend?
My Essay:
Today big cities have appealed many people who are flocking to there in search for a better life. There are several reasons for this phenomenon and I believe this trend is in fact a good one.
People moving to big cities may be caused by a variety of reasons. Firstly, big cities usually offer greater employment possibilities than small cities or the countryside. And because of this, thousands of people, especially the young, migrate to big cities seeking better job opportunities. Secondly, big cities offer better entertainment facilities. For example, movies and theaters are easily to find in big cities while there might be just one or two in small cities. This is probably why people usually consider life in big cities better and more colorful. All in all, these factors mentioned above are the driving force for people to go to big cities.
In my opinion, it is a positive trend that people migrate to big cities. When more skilled workers choose to live in big cities, their professional skills and expertise can help promote the economic development in those cities. For instance, if cities governments plan to build a financial center, the best and quickest way for them to achieve this goal is to attract talents in this field to their cities. In fact, many big cities offer appealing policies for the people with special knowledge set who are willing to work and live there.
In conclusion, migration to big cities is commonly seen in many countries around the globe, and greater work opportunities as well as more leisure places are usually the reasons. In my view, this trend is of great benefit as it drives the economic development in big cities.
(284 words)
P.S. I would be grateful for the strict assessment with the most detailed comments as I hope to get Band 8.5 - 9 in the writing part.
Thank you for your review in advancd!
Many people are moving to big cities. Why is that? Do you think it is a good trend?
My Essay:
Today big cities have appealed many people who are flocking to there in search for a better life. There are several reasons for this phenomenon and I believe this trend is in fact a good one.
People moving to big cities may be caused by a variety of reasons. Firstly, big cities usually offer greater employment possibilities than small cities or the countryside. And because of this, thousands of people, especially the young, migrate to big cities seeking better job opportunities. Secondly, big cities offer better entertainment facilities. For example, movies and theaters are easily to find in big cities while there might be just one or two in small cities. This is probably why people usually consider life in big cities better and more colorful. All in all, these factors mentioned above are the driving force for people to go to big cities.
In my opinion, it is a positive trend that people migrate to big cities. When more skilled workers choose to live in big cities, their professional skills and expertise can help promote the economic development in those cities. For instance, if cities governments plan to build a financial center, the best and quickest way for them to achieve this goal is to attract talents in this field to their cities. In fact, many big cities offer appealing policies for the people with special knowledge set who are willing to work and live there.
In conclusion, migration to big cities is commonly seen in many countries around the globe, and greater work opportunities as well as more leisure places are usually the reasons. In my view, this trend is of great benefit as it drives the economic development in big cities.
(284 words)
P.S. I would be grateful for the strict assessment with the most detailed comments as I hope to get Band 8.5 - 9 in the writing part.
Thank you for your review in advancd!