shift_alan
May 26, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL : What recent news story has affected you the most? In what ways? [NEW]
Question: What recent news story has affected you the most? In what ways has it affected you? Use reasons and examples to support your response.
According to a recent news story on the internet that a female student was be raped and then killed in the toilet, while the suspect was reprieved, which has affected me the most. So young was the girl that had left the world. In addition, It's at the university that the suspect, a senior male student, and the victim studied, receiving higher education. Another point that mangy people cannot accept is that the suspect was reprieved rather than executed immediately. Under these circumstances feel I sorrowful, astonished and interrogative.
First and foremost, only at the age of 20, the most splendid time of a girl, has she slipped away quietly. Seldom are people not regretful for her death. She was so
diligent and modest that she tried her best to study during the school days, while she had not the opportunity to put theory into practice, to render back to her parents, also to enjoy her life. As for me, a person as youthful as her, I do cherish every minute of my life and live it to the full.
On the other hand, the suspect, a upper grade student, has learned for about 15 years, how could he do such a thing to a junior schoolgirl? I was wondering that access to knowledge and good living conditions, why don't he put his mind on study or think about returning to his family and the society? Even at this time of day, we also need preserve the traditional moral culture to advance moral cultivation among university students.
Last but not the least, the result of adjudge drove us to think as well. Opposed to two years' probation are those people who hold the opinion that this suspect should pay a heavier price so as to awaken his conscience, at the same time, to reveal the grave of the case, also to call for the conscience of society.
If she were alive, she would have more wonderful thing to experience. If she were alive, she would have many opportunities to put practical knowledge to work. This news story was mournful, astound and of profound meaning. From my perspective, as a social citizen with good education, every member should be a person who is able to make therefore answerable for his behavior, be conscious, moral, and at the meantime abide by the law and discipline, awe of our lives.
This is my first attempt to practise TOEFL essay, please help me improve. Thank you!
Question: What recent news story has affected you the most? In what ways has it affected you? Use reasons and examples to support your response.
According to a recent news story on the internet that a female student was be raped and then killed in the toilet, while the suspect was reprieved, which has affected me the most. So young was the girl that had left the world. In addition, It's at the university that the suspect, a senior male student, and the victim studied, receiving higher education. Another point that mangy people cannot accept is that the suspect was reprieved rather than executed immediately. Under these circumstances feel I sorrowful, astonished and interrogative.
First and foremost, only at the age of 20, the most splendid time of a girl, has she slipped away quietly. Seldom are people not regretful for her death. She was so
diligent and modest that she tried her best to study during the school days, while she had not the opportunity to put theory into practice, to render back to her parents, also to enjoy her life. As for me, a person as youthful as her, I do cherish every minute of my life and live it to the full.
On the other hand, the suspect, a upper grade student, has learned for about 15 years, how could he do such a thing to a junior schoolgirl? I was wondering that access to knowledge and good living conditions, why don't he put his mind on study or think about returning to his family and the society? Even at this time of day, we also need preserve the traditional moral culture to advance moral cultivation among university students.
Last but not the least, the result of adjudge drove us to think as well. Opposed to two years' probation are those people who hold the opinion that this suspect should pay a heavier price so as to awaken his conscience, at the same time, to reveal the grave of the case, also to call for the conscience of society.
If she were alive, she would have more wonderful thing to experience. If she were alive, she would have many opportunities to put practical knowledge to work. This news story was mournful, astound and of profound meaning. From my perspective, as a social citizen with good education, every member should be a person who is able to make therefore answerable for his behavior, be conscious, moral, and at the meantime abide by the law and discipline, awe of our lives.
This is my first attempt to practise TOEFL essay, please help me improve. Thank you!