belial612
Jul 17, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Living in this generation' - [TOEFL essay] [3]
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The advice from grandparents have no use for their grandchildren because the world changed a lot during the past 50 years.
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Living in this generation, it is really hard to imagine what life was like decades ago. Since the world has changed a lot during this time and it is still changing day by day. The world changes, and people's lifestyle and values are also different from the past. So there is a debate about whether grandparents' suggestions are suitable in today's society. Some people say that grandparents' ideas are antiquated, and they can not be used in modern times. Others argue that because their thoughts are based on their life experiences, we will benefit greatly by taking their suggestions. It is my contention that their advices are very valuable to me.
First, some of virtues which the elders teach us are unchangeable as time passes by, like patience, honesty and loyalty. People have followed these virtues for thousands of years, and they are still regarded as great truths in twenty-first century. On the other hand, someone might have a different perspective than mine and think that only few people think these virtues are important now. However, regarding this idea, these objectors and I are not on the same wavelength. For instance, honesty is the key element to become a successful businessman, especially in the Internet-based society. Today, more and more people go shopping via the Internet, and it is quite risky that you can not see the real product before you buy it. So sellers' credit is the crucial reference to consumers. According to the survey which was done by the Finance Department, at National Taiwan University, of ninety-six of the Internet customers won't purchase from the sellers whose credit is low. To sum up, there is no gainsaying that the fact that things our grandparents taught us are still worth to be passed on to the next generation should be put in the limelight.
In addition, there are many lessons that we can learn from our grandparents' experiences. For more than seventy years, they have been through a lot and they must have many life stories to share with us, no matter the story is inspiring, sorrowful or even the experience of failure. Take my grandmother and myself as examples. I am the only child in my family, so my parents have high expectations of me. They even decided what I should do in the future. I don't like their decisions but I have no idea how to refuse them. My grandmother had the exact same experience. She encouraged me to find out my favorite major and follow my own will. I took her advice and talked to my parents that I wanted to choose my future career by myself. Finally, my parents compromised with me. Without my grandmother's encouragement and suggestion, I wouldn't have the power to against my parents. Such would be the direct evidence that bears witness to the value of grandparents' experiences.
Of course, I don't mean to suggest that my point of view is unassailable. Nevertheless, I feel that my opinion is built on a solid foundation.
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Please give me a score if possible. :)
Thank you very much!
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The advice from grandparents have no use for their grandchildren because the world changed a lot during the past 50 years.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Living in this generation, it is really hard to imagine what life was like decades ago. Since the world has changed a lot during this time and it is still changing day by day. The world changes, and people's lifestyle and values are also different from the past. So there is a debate about whether grandparents' suggestions are suitable in today's society. Some people say that grandparents' ideas are antiquated, and they can not be used in modern times. Others argue that because their thoughts are based on their life experiences, we will benefit greatly by taking their suggestions. It is my contention that their advices are very valuable to me.
First, some of virtues which the elders teach us are unchangeable as time passes by, like patience, honesty and loyalty. People have followed these virtues for thousands of years, and they are still regarded as great truths in twenty-first century. On the other hand, someone might have a different perspective than mine and think that only few people think these virtues are important now. However, regarding this idea, these objectors and I are not on the same wavelength. For instance, honesty is the key element to become a successful businessman, especially in the Internet-based society. Today, more and more people go shopping via the Internet, and it is quite risky that you can not see the real product before you buy it. So sellers' credit is the crucial reference to consumers. According to the survey which was done by the Finance Department, at National Taiwan University, of ninety-six of the Internet customers won't purchase from the sellers whose credit is low. To sum up, there is no gainsaying that the fact that things our grandparents taught us are still worth to be passed on to the next generation should be put in the limelight.
In addition, there are many lessons that we can learn from our grandparents' experiences. For more than seventy years, they have been through a lot and they must have many life stories to share with us, no matter the story is inspiring, sorrowful or even the experience of failure. Take my grandmother and myself as examples. I am the only child in my family, so my parents have high expectations of me. They even decided what I should do in the future. I don't like their decisions but I have no idea how to refuse them. My grandmother had the exact same experience. She encouraged me to find out my favorite major and follow my own will. I took her advice and talked to my parents that I wanted to choose my future career by myself. Finally, my parents compromised with me. Without my grandmother's encouragement and suggestion, I wouldn't have the power to against my parents. Such would be the direct evidence that bears witness to the value of grandparents' experiences.
Of course, I don't mean to suggest that my point of view is unassailable. Nevertheless, I feel that my opinion is built on a solid foundation.
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Please give me a score if possible. :)
Thank you very much!