hhpessays
Jul 22, 2012
Writing Feedback / Maxim: Beggars are not the choosers. [4]
The first paragraph is a bit redundant with the use of the word alms over and over. Is there way to incorporate a synonym that will get your point across without the redundancy? It is hard for me to rate the paper, but overall it is probably a 7 or 8 with the logic. Kind of wraps around in confusing circles, but since I don't know who the audience is, maybe I'm just not sharp enough to understand the circles and your audience will get it better.
The first paragraph is a bit redundant with the use of the word alms over and over. Is there way to incorporate a synonym that will get your point across without the redundancy? It is hard for me to rate the paper, but overall it is probably a 7 or 8 with the logic. Kind of wraps around in confusing circles, but since I don't know who the audience is, maybe I'm just not sharp enough to understand the circles and your audience will get it better.