Undergraduate / 'My first semester in college' - Short intro to admissions essay [4]

nice essay but i have to see the rest before i can make my final judgement or correction
but so far so good

Undergraduate / 'Village life / Learner / Mathematics' - Bucknell University Supplement essay [3]

great! but the ending is too abrupt
Point 2 line 8
A student I am a student
with his economist uncle . with my uncle- an economist genius