Undergraduate / CMC essay; "First in war, first in peace, and first in our countrymen's hearts" [16]

1. its ridicuously long, it doesnt need to be this long.

2. it doesnt answer the q. what lasting impact. you focus too much on the biography of him, and only answer the q at the last paragraph.

Undergraduate / CMC essay; "First in war, first in peace, and first in our countrymen's hearts" [16]

reading my own post, it sounded a bit harsh.
I do like the progression of the leadership qualities, but i think the admission officers would prefer a shorter (possbilt cut out those 2 paragraphs you mentioned) leadership essay as opposed to a verbose one.

I just think it would be better to be quick to the point. If you connect those two paragraphs to the main topic its fine.

Also 4 pages means about 1000s i believe. I think thats a bit too much. There are exceptions, but again, the shorter to the point the better i would argue.

Grammarwise i didnt find any. However, iam not big on grammar so.

Can you read mine as well?
I dont have the points to start my own thread.
This is for the U of chicago optional essay. Main thing I would like to you see is if its worht sending or not becuase i have better required essays.

Undergraduate / CMC essay; "First in war, first in peace, and first in our countrymen's hearts" [16]

what a book that affected you. something like that

Undergraduate / CMC essay; "First in war, first in peace, and first in our countrymen's hearts" [16]

I have a question. what makes you so confidentn to copy paste your essay here without the fear of others copying from you.

I am a bit worried.