rochelleleeo
Sep 1, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Left to be Forgotten' Short story. Narrative about toy raccoon for english 10 CP [2]
Olstad1
Rochelle Olstad
Ms. Nella
English 10 C.P.
29 August 2012
Left to be Forgotten
My name is Ringo and I am a Beanie Baby; a raccoon. I have two black stripes on my tail and a black mask on my face. I used to live in Liams room with him and all of our friends. Now we most of us live in the attic. Liam and his family moved. We got moved to the attic a week or so ago. The attic is always very dark and there are tons of spiders and bugs everywhere. The rest of the house is empty and quiet. We, as in me and my friends: Zayn the starfish, Niall the teddybear, Louis the barbie doll, Harry the cat, Maz the whale and Lottie the puppy. Those are my friends. We thought we were going to be moving with Liam but I guess we were wrong. We used to get played with every single day. But, now we just mope around all day with nothing to do. We live a tragically boring life to be honest.
It was just another boring day in the attic, Harry just talking to Louis. Zayn sleeping. Maz and Lottie playing hide and seek. Me and Niall playing cards and talking. Just another day in the attic. We were all doing out normal things when we heard a door shut.
Zayn jumped up "Is Liam back?!" he asked.
Niall ran to the window. "No, just some car, but it's not Liams." He said sadly.
We all put our heads down. "Wait, who is it then?" Maz suddenly asked.
Nobody knew who it was so Louis and I decided to go find out. We slowly and stealthily came out of the attic and made our way to the stairs that lead into the living room. When we got there we say two women and a man.
"Who is that?" Louis asked.
Olstad2
"I have no idea." I replied, slightly confused.
"Should we stay here or go back up and see if they leave?" Louis asked worried.
"We should probably go back up and wait to see if they leave."
We creeped back up to the attic. When we got there the rest of the toys were waiting, they looked worried.
"Who was it? What are they doing? Do we know them?" Lottie asked.
"We have no idea who they are. There's a man and two women. We didn't want to get caught so we figured we'd wait and see if they leave or not." Louis replied to Lottie.
"Okay." The rest of us said and went back to what we were doing before the people showed up.
We waited for what seemed like years, but in reality was about an hour or so. Then we heard the door shut and the car leave. Everyone looked relieved; but on the inside I think we all wanted to be around people, and possibly get played with again like the old days with Liam.
After the women and man came everything went back to normal, sort of. It was still boring but everything seemed so much gloomier. I tried not to think about it. About three weeks after the car came we heard a door shut. Nobody got their hopes up this time though. We all just stayed in the attic; but then we heard a lot of noise and the truck leave. Good thing we didn't get our hopes up this time.
Later that day Harry and I were playing with Lottie when the attic door opened. We all ran and got into spots we were left in when Liams mom put us in there. One of the women came in and grabbed the boxes we were in. She then brought us into Liams old room; everyone's faces lit up. It reminded me of when we all would play in here. She set us on the bed and emptied the boxes out one at a time. First the box with blankets, then the one with towels, then the one with pillows, then our box. What was she going to do with us? Lottie looked at me with a very scared look on her face.
"It'll be okay." I said.
Olstad3
The women picked us up and sat us all on Liams old bed; but instead of his old cowboy blanket it had a pink princess blanket on it. We all were very confused.
"Danielle!" The women called.
Who is Danielle?
"Yes, Mommy?" A little girl with long brown wavy hair and blue eyes says as she walks in.
That must be Danielle.
"Dani, look what I found in the attic. Would you like to keep them?" The women, who I'm assuming is her mother, said.
The little girl, about six or seven came up to the bed and looked at us. Are we going to get played with? I hope so, but she's not Liam. I want to play with Liam.
"Yes! Look Mommy a puppy and a raccoon! Oh, a starfish! And a cat! I love them all!" She said picking us all up and giving us a hug. She then ran up to her mom and her gave her a hug.
"Okay Dani, have fun. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." Her mom said and walked out of the room.
The little girl then grabbed us and we all had a tea party. It was actually very fun, yet unusual. We were all so used to playing cowboys and cops and things like that with Liam. I miss him a lot. I liked to play with Danielle but she wasn't Liam. I wanted to play with Liam. Whenever Danielle would go to bed, she would take Zayn with her and cuddle with him, he looked exuberant whenever she did this.
One day she had to leave for a week or so, to go to her grandparents house. Over this week we didn't get played with at all. It reminded me of the days in the attic, the cold, dark, scary attic. At that time I had realized how much I truly miss Liam, but he wasn't coming back. So, I decided that I really do like to play with Danielle and that she makes all of my friends happy. The day she came back she ran into her room, I mean Liams old room. She hugged us all and we all had one of our tea parties. I
Olstad4
was happy she was back and didn't want her to leave ever again. Everyone needs to move on, and I have. Of course I'll always miss Liam and want to play with him, but we all have Dani now and she makes everyone happy and we make her happy. That's what's important right?
The end.
Olstad1
Rochelle Olstad
Ms. Nella
English 10 C.P.
29 August 2012
Left to be Forgotten
My name is Ringo and I am a Beanie Baby; a raccoon. I have two black stripes on my tail and a black mask on my face. I used to live in Liams room with him and all of our friends. Now we most of us live in the attic. Liam and his family moved. We got moved to the attic a week or so ago. The attic is always very dark and there are tons of spiders and bugs everywhere. The rest of the house is empty and quiet. We, as in me and my friends: Zayn the starfish, Niall the teddybear, Louis the barbie doll, Harry the cat, Maz the whale and Lottie the puppy. Those are my friends. We thought we were going to be moving with Liam but I guess we were wrong. We used to get played with every single day. But, now we just mope around all day with nothing to do. We live a tragically boring life to be honest.
It was just another boring day in the attic, Harry just talking to Louis. Zayn sleeping. Maz and Lottie playing hide and seek. Me and Niall playing cards and talking. Just another day in the attic. We were all doing out normal things when we heard a door shut.
Zayn jumped up "Is Liam back?!" he asked.
Niall ran to the window. "No, just some car, but it's not Liams." He said sadly.
We all put our heads down. "Wait, who is it then?" Maz suddenly asked.
Nobody knew who it was so Louis and I decided to go find out. We slowly and stealthily came out of the attic and made our way to the stairs that lead into the living room. When we got there we say two women and a man.
"Who is that?" Louis asked.
Olstad2
"I have no idea." I replied, slightly confused.
"Should we stay here or go back up and see if they leave?" Louis asked worried.
"We should probably go back up and wait to see if they leave."
We creeped back up to the attic. When we got there the rest of the toys were waiting, they looked worried.
"Who was it? What are they doing? Do we know them?" Lottie asked.
"We have no idea who they are. There's a man and two women. We didn't want to get caught so we figured we'd wait and see if they leave or not." Louis replied to Lottie.
"Okay." The rest of us said and went back to what we were doing before the people showed up.
We waited for what seemed like years, but in reality was about an hour or so. Then we heard the door shut and the car leave. Everyone looked relieved; but on the inside I think we all wanted to be around people, and possibly get played with again like the old days with Liam.
After the women and man came everything went back to normal, sort of. It was still boring but everything seemed so much gloomier. I tried not to think about it. About three weeks after the car came we heard a door shut. Nobody got their hopes up this time though. We all just stayed in the attic; but then we heard a lot of noise and the truck leave. Good thing we didn't get our hopes up this time.
Later that day Harry and I were playing with Lottie when the attic door opened. We all ran and got into spots we were left in when Liams mom put us in there. One of the women came in and grabbed the boxes we were in. She then brought us into Liams old room; everyone's faces lit up. It reminded me of when we all would play in here. She set us on the bed and emptied the boxes out one at a time. First the box with blankets, then the one with towels, then the one with pillows, then our box. What was she going to do with us? Lottie looked at me with a very scared look on her face.
"It'll be okay." I said.
Olstad3
The women picked us up and sat us all on Liams old bed; but instead of his old cowboy blanket it had a pink princess blanket on it. We all were very confused.
"Danielle!" The women called.
Who is Danielle?
"Yes, Mommy?" A little girl with long brown wavy hair and blue eyes says as she walks in.
That must be Danielle.
"Dani, look what I found in the attic. Would you like to keep them?" The women, who I'm assuming is her mother, said.
The little girl, about six or seven came up to the bed and looked at us. Are we going to get played with? I hope so, but she's not Liam. I want to play with Liam.
"Yes! Look Mommy a puppy and a raccoon! Oh, a starfish! And a cat! I love them all!" She said picking us all up and giving us a hug. She then ran up to her mom and her gave her a hug.
"Okay Dani, have fun. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." Her mom said and walked out of the room.
The little girl then grabbed us and we all had a tea party. It was actually very fun, yet unusual. We were all so used to playing cowboys and cops and things like that with Liam. I miss him a lot. I liked to play with Danielle but she wasn't Liam. I wanted to play with Liam. Whenever Danielle would go to bed, she would take Zayn with her and cuddle with him, he looked exuberant whenever she did this.
One day she had to leave for a week or so, to go to her grandparents house. Over this week we didn't get played with at all. It reminded me of the days in the attic, the cold, dark, scary attic. At that time I had realized how much I truly miss Liam, but he wasn't coming back. So, I decided that I really do like to play with Danielle and that she makes all of my friends happy. The day she came back she ran into her room, I mean Liams old room. She hugged us all and we all had one of our tea parties. I
Olstad4
was happy she was back and didn't want her to leave ever again. Everyone needs to move on, and I have. Of course I'll always miss Liam and want to play with him, but we all have Dani now and she makes everyone happy and we make her happy. That's what's important right?
The end.