Undergraduate / 'a team captain' - Extracurricular Essay Common App ADVICE [5]

Bang! The gun goes off; legs dig into the grass field; everyone filled with determination and pressure. This is a cross country race scene. A youth hobby has morphed into a passion. Running cross country serves as an outlet for my life. I can enjoy a comfortable and breezy run when I am stressed or I can sprint to the finish line under pressure. The memories of exhaustion during the eighth of the race are unforgettable. The pain to maintain my form and complete the race has taught me determination. Every runner must run their best performance in order for the team to win. Without team spirit, individual performance has gone to waste. As a team captain during my senior year, I learned to take my responsibilities seriously by carrying out my leadership duties daily. Cross country defines my identity: determination, discipline, and commitment. These life lessons can be applied to in the real world.

This is my rough draft. I want to know if my statement is engaging, and has a meaning in it.

Length: max 1000 characters..

Thanks!

Undergraduate / 'Art is my rand hand' - experience Essay 250-500 Word [2]

Topic:Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you. or TOPIC OF YOUR CHOICE

I need to rework some wording and make it 500 words.
Please edit. advice if possible.

Thanks.

The careful movements of my paintbrush fill the canvas with primary colors. Gradually, the contrasting colors blend together to reveal a painting. While the different shades seem out of place, they complement each other, which build the basis of the painting's true identity.

My true identity has become a variety of the different shades of my life. I am an American citizen, but my surname explains my Chinese ethnicity. I am from Guangdong, China, a city known from its strong economy. However, my memories are less vivid. I remember the delicious chestnuts that would require a special technique to open properly. I remember the odd scents from my grandfather's herbal medicines for treating nearly all sickness. My childhood was surrounded by the culture of endless rice and peculiar Chinese fables. As I try to gather my childhood memories, I remember the times when stress and goals were nonexistent, although childish actions were definitely present. I would play with a Rubik Cube for hours or spend my whole weekend drawing figures.

However, my first name, Vincent, hides my true home: America. When I moved to America a very young age, I had to change identity as well as my lifestyle. Cantonese became a thing of the past as I struggled to become proficient in English. I was accustomed to pizza, cereal, and hot dogs. Everything was new; new encounters and new friends replaced the old ones. Opportunities opened for me to pursue activities and studies to a deeper level. I began to take private art lessons, and it soon became more than just a goofy pastime. My interest in science and math also expanded, and school became not a place of torture, but of learning.

America and China was crossing the threshold, between new and old, the line between youth and maturity. In my mind, I saw this as a new color to my life rather than a line. I am able to balance between my Chinese heritage and American lifestyles. This unique identity has allowed me to be so original. Influences I receive from my peers and my parent's guidance enable me to combine to a mixed culture that I find interesting. My knowledge of two completely different cultures and languages allow me to interact with more of the world, enabling my horizons to view further. Although I have met many people with similar backgrounds, I find that their experiences and adaptations are different from mine.

My experiences with two cultures that are on the completely opposite spectrum assist me in having an open mind. My horizons are not limited as I am more willing to accept other beliefs and philosophy. This has also given me a creativity that I tend to express in the form of my works. As the captain of the Track/Cross Country teams and student volunteer, my responsibilities and large workloads tend to stress me out occasionally. However, I still find spare time to draw. When I draw, my thoughts are organized and I feel much relieves. No matter how worried I am about the meet tomorrow or the SAT's in the morning, I must take this moment to calm down. Art connects me to my childhood and my image of life.

Art is literally as much a permanent part of me as my right hand. It serves as not only as a source of enjoyment, but also as a familiar appendage in my uncertain life. My art and my heritage will always stay with me as a fundamental quality of my existence.