CesarContreras
Sep 25, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Be a bush if you can't be a tree' USF Admissions Essay [NEW]
-I'm looking for constructive criticism and good ways to improve my Essay... I want to make it interesting (because people say it doesn't stand out) and I think it's poorly written for a college-level essay.-
Those inspirational words were expressed by my pre-military training teacher on our last day of classes. I believe big changes equals to big decisions, and inevitably you grow up and learn much more than you would expect. This is the second time I've moved across the world, it's usually not a bad thing until all these emotions start running through your body, but on the other hand it's an excellent way to prove yourself with new challenges. Despite that, I feel this opportunity is a blessing. You barely get two chances in life and I'm so ready to take full advantage of this giving occasion.
When I flew back to Venezuela it affected me in so many positive ways. However the first challenge I had to face was changing school systems, feeling lost and not being good enough made me feel helpless that because looking at my final report card my sophomore year and seeing too many C and less A for the first time ever in my life happened to be very upsetting. Nevertheless meeting people, who were so passionate, motivated and ready to take every chance they had to be the bests, motivated me to do the same. I believe those eager students had a sparkle in their eyes saying: "I'm ready to fight and challenge myself every day, no matter how hard it gets..." they were always willing to work hard and I loved that. I found a way to become one of them and all I needed was patience and persistence. But those efforts were, in the end, what mattered. Success is only as gratifying as it is because of the struggle and energy it entails.
I am enthusiastic about my future. I plan to major in Management and minor in Accounting/Advertising. I strongly feel that those extracurricular activities that I organized during my senior year helped me develop my leadership and communications skills. I feel passionate about taking chances that I would've never thought of doing such as joining the Business Honors Program.
I'm ready to step out into a world of endless possibilities. I desire adventure, challenges and knowledge. I have learned so many more things than I can ever mention in one essay. I'm ready to dive down into the years that will define "me" and the ones that will define me as a bull for life.
-I'm looking for constructive criticism and good ways to improve my Essay... I want to make it interesting (because people say it doesn't stand out) and I think it's poorly written for a college-level essay.-
Those inspirational words were expressed by my pre-military training teacher on our last day of classes. I believe big changes equals to big decisions, and inevitably you grow up and learn much more than you would expect. This is the second time I've moved across the world, it's usually not a bad thing until all these emotions start running through your body, but on the other hand it's an excellent way to prove yourself with new challenges. Despite that, I feel this opportunity is a blessing. You barely get two chances in life and I'm so ready to take full advantage of this giving occasion.
When I flew back to Venezuela it affected me in so many positive ways. However the first challenge I had to face was changing school systems, feeling lost and not being good enough made me feel helpless that because looking at my final report card my sophomore year and seeing too many C and less A for the first time ever in my life happened to be very upsetting. Nevertheless meeting people, who were so passionate, motivated and ready to take every chance they had to be the bests, motivated me to do the same. I believe those eager students had a sparkle in their eyes saying: "I'm ready to fight and challenge myself every day, no matter how hard it gets..." they were always willing to work hard and I loved that. I found a way to become one of them and all I needed was patience and persistence. But those efforts were, in the end, what mattered. Success is only as gratifying as it is because of the struggle and energy it entails.
I am enthusiastic about my future. I plan to major in Management and minor in Accounting/Advertising. I strongly feel that those extracurricular activities that I organized during my senior year helped me develop my leadership and communications skills. I feel passionate about taking chances that I would've never thought of doing such as joining the Business Honors Program.
I'm ready to step out into a world of endless possibilities. I desire adventure, challenges and knowledge. I have learned so many more things than I can ever mention in one essay. I'm ready to dive down into the years that will define "me" and the ones that will define me as a bull for life.