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Posts by krushi
Joined: Sep 24, 2012
Last Post: Sep 25, 2012
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 2
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krushi   
Sep 24, 2012
Undergraduate / 'I have always stayed connected with my Indian culture' - UC Personal Essay [2]

Many people think that by living in another country, one loses connections with their native culture. This is not true in case. I was raised in the United States; I have always stayed connected with my Indian culture as well as add parts of American culture into my life. With this combination came my aspiration of helping kids as well as increasing ways to help the people living in my community; a perfect combination for becoming a doctor.

My first interaction with the festival called Diwali was ten years ago, when my parents celebrated it in India. I learned how the diyas (lamps) represent the end of the negative aromas through knowledge. My Indian culture taught me how diyas (little clay pots) were lit all around the neighborhood and how it was a festival where family got together. As my family gathered together, I noticed one of the families did not have any divas lit in their house. My American culture that taught me how to be generous and kind to those who did not have the same pleasures as I have, made me to take one of the diyas from the front and walk over to give the family. I gave it to the little kid watching other houses being decorated and all of a sudden his face lit up with joy. This face showed me how Diwali was not just about getting rid of the negativities around us, but also spreading our love, joys, and happiness with others. It also showed me how children's smiles put a smile on my face.

Soon my trip was over and I had return to the United States, but I do not want to stop celebrating and helping others. I learned how even here in the USA, Diwali is celebrated in our religious center, called a temple. Ever since the smile the kid gave to me, each year I go to the temple on Diwali to not only celebrate the festival but also distribute the diyas to each child I see there (usually around 10). Distributing the diyas also gave me the skill of communication as my bonds grew with my interactions. Some of these interactions also gave me a chance to become a great listener as well as speaker ï qualities a doctor must have.
krushi   
Sep 25, 2012
Writing Feedback / I'm having trouble with my introduction. I'm afraid it may be deemed as plagerism? [4]

it should be "FearlessLY and excitedly..." because you need to have parallel structures while writing. Other than that I think it's fine. It's not really plagiarizing since you have it quoted. And also quote's are a good easy opener. They are my backfall if I can't think of anything else and I'm a senior this year.
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