danshb
Oct 3, 2012
Essays / 'I could've done better' College Essay (My experience in high school) [8]
This is my first draft and I need some feedback. I appreciate it. Thank you.
In reflecting on the events that have impacted me, I find myself living in my hometown, New York all over again. I question myself if I would've worked diligently as I got through my senior year in New York or how would I change myself throughout the years spent in there. It all depends on where society can lead to and how it affects my identity. It wouldn't work out too well for me unless I worked assiduously and received motivation to strive for my education. I recall my freshman year of high school and how inadequately I did in some of my classes. During my freshman year, I kept on hearing in my head, "I could've done better" every single day. This statement was never permanently engrained in my mind. I was the typical student who never cared about a test or a quiz as long as I passed. I never challenged myself to learn beyond what was expected from a teacher or a parent. Overall, it was an abortive attempt to change my bad habits in New York.
Honestly, ever since I moved to Connecticut, a lot hasn't changed for me. Maybe I wasn't used to the atmosphere of the suburban area. For some reason, everything felt the same except where I was located. I thought that I must work harder in the beginning of sophomore year, but my progress didn't drastically change. Comparing my report card from New York, my grades improved significantly. I questioned myself on why I did better in Connecticut rather than in New York. Considering how Connecticut's a suburban area, there's a lot of farms, trees, etc... Somehow, I just did not fit into this type of environment. For the first two weeks I've been complaining about this place because there's literally nothing to do. It was awful. I was so used to going out all the time and do something productive with my friends. It wasn't the same. I realized that a suburban area has its benefits though. In terms of education, it is an advantage for me to value education.
Here I am now as a senior maintaining strong grades for the college I want to get into. I can't believe my high school years went by so quickly. Over the years up until now, working hard in school has taught me what it takes to succeed in life. From months and months of progress, I've reached up to a point where I gained a hard work ethic. I learned that living in Connecticut has made me be an independent individual by doing all my work on time and not making up any absurd excuses. Being independent also helped me realize that college won't treat me like a little kid; there will be a lot of responsibilities that I will have. Most importantly, I have developed self- confidence in myself that I can do things by myself, and know that I will not have any troubles. Instead of just giving up, I realize that it is necessary to risk failure in order to gain success. I would like to thank my parents for making the effective decision to make this adjustment for us.
This is my first draft and I need some feedback. I appreciate it. Thank you.
In reflecting on the events that have impacted me, I find myself living in my hometown, New York all over again. I question myself if I would've worked diligently as I got through my senior year in New York or how would I change myself throughout the years spent in there. It all depends on where society can lead to and how it affects my identity. It wouldn't work out too well for me unless I worked assiduously and received motivation to strive for my education. I recall my freshman year of high school and how inadequately I did in some of my classes. During my freshman year, I kept on hearing in my head, "I could've done better" every single day. This statement was never permanently engrained in my mind. I was the typical student who never cared about a test or a quiz as long as I passed. I never challenged myself to learn beyond what was expected from a teacher or a parent. Overall, it was an abortive attempt to change my bad habits in New York.
Honestly, ever since I moved to Connecticut, a lot hasn't changed for me. Maybe I wasn't used to the atmosphere of the suburban area. For some reason, everything felt the same except where I was located. I thought that I must work harder in the beginning of sophomore year, but my progress didn't drastically change. Comparing my report card from New York, my grades improved significantly. I questioned myself on why I did better in Connecticut rather than in New York. Considering how Connecticut's a suburban area, there's a lot of farms, trees, etc... Somehow, I just did not fit into this type of environment. For the first two weeks I've been complaining about this place because there's literally nothing to do. It was awful. I was so used to going out all the time and do something productive with my friends. It wasn't the same. I realized that a suburban area has its benefits though. In terms of education, it is an advantage for me to value education.
Here I am now as a senior maintaining strong grades for the college I want to get into. I can't believe my high school years went by so quickly. Over the years up until now, working hard in school has taught me what it takes to succeed in life. From months and months of progress, I've reached up to a point where I gained a hard work ethic. I learned that living in Connecticut has made me be an independent individual by doing all my work on time and not making up any absurd excuses. Being independent also helped me realize that college won't treat me like a little kid; there will be a lot of responsibilities that I will have. Most importantly, I have developed self- confidence in myself that I can do things by myself, and know that I will not have any troubles. Instead of just giving up, I realize that it is necessary to risk failure in order to gain success. I would like to thank my parents for making the effective decision to make this adjustment for us.