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Posts by tashiasoen
Joined: Nov 17, 2012
Last Post: Nov 18, 2012
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From: United States of America

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tashiasoen   
Nov 17, 2012
Undergraduate / 'club's advertisement / golf instruction' - UC transfer essays [6]

I need help developing my first essay. I have no legit experience with my major and I just picked it up so I don't have a lot of knowledge on it but I do have an interest in this subject. I want to show that I am willing to work hard for this subject without writing out that phrase in the essay. Any help will be appreciated! Thank You:)

1. What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement.

When I was young, my father started up his on printing company and my aunt was the head of the US division for her company. During my middle school and high school years, my mother had been involved in the food business. All my life, I have always been surrounded by business. So it was only natural for me to be steered in that direction when choosing my major.


Last year, I applied under an accounting major for several UCs. While I was being considered, I continued my accounting studies at De Anza. Although I was rejected, I realized in that time, I had not much interest or talent for accounting. This time around, I am trying to get into marketing or economics. Marketing can offer me a broad range of options for my future and unifies my interest in communications, behavioral psychology, and mathematics.

I do not have much experience in the field of marketing or economics though. I just have a huge interest in these fields. This is the first year I am involved in my school clubs. This quarter, I have joined the Circle K club. Because it is the beginning of the school quarter, my club is starting to design their club shirts and I offered to help out. I thought that this could help develop my interest in the marketing field; after all, the club shirts are fundamentally apart of a club's advertisement.

Intended major in business.

2. Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

During the summer vacation of forth grade, my mother enrolled my cousin and me up in a one-week golf instruction course in golf. Although I enjoyed my short exposure to this sport, I never actively pursued it until I entered high school. When I did enter high school I wanted to participate in an extra curriculum activity and started practicing golf wit the intent of try out for the high school golf team. Because I was not a golfer or even an athlete, making a team was a big goal that I wanted to achieve. So with the support of my family, I pushed myself to try-out for my school team and dedicated my time and efforts to make the team in my sophomore year. My family and I were very proud of making the girl's varsity golf team, which reinforce my commitment to practice and participate in golf.

During the golf season, I practiced four out of the five days of the week for four hours after school and played on the golf course at least once a week. While I was not the strongest player in the team, I was able to play for the varsity girl's golf team and receive my first varsity golf letter at the end of my sophomore year. The sport taught me that dedication and hard work towards a goal would ensure its achievement. After two seasons of playing for the team, I was able to get a letter in golf of my junior year.

While I am very proud of my club activities and my participation in my school's orchestra through out my high school years, I remain proudest in making the golf team and encouragement and support from my coaches and my family. I often reflect on the lessons that this experience provides me in how focus and commitment can permit exceptional achievement.
tashiasoen   
Nov 18, 2012
Undergraduate / 'club's advertisement / golf instruction' - UC transfer essays [6]

Thanks for all the advice! This is what I have:

When I was young, my father started up his on printing company and my aunt was the head of the U.S. division for her company. During my middle school and high school years, my mother had been involved in the food business. With all these influential business figures in my life, it was only natural for me to be steered in that direction when choosing my major.

I know you said to avoid the "so it's only natural" starter but I am going to go into how I found interest in the major

Last year, I applied under an accounting major for several UCs. Although I was rejected, I realized in that time, I had not much interest or talent for accounting. "Slowly I was trudging towards the end of my General Education, tearing my hair out at whether I should continue pursuing a business major, or to cut my losses and try out a new subject." I review the classes I've taken at the time to see what classes I truly enjoyed and excelled in. One of the classes was Macroeconomics with Professor Singh. "This was a regular Econ class, but I didn't understand why I'd be racing to sit in the front, why I would constantly jot down every piece of information, why I was so dedicated in this class. Ever so gradually, I was able to relate the practices learned in class to real life, with issues regarding unemployment or the fiscal cliff being things I heard of vaguely in the news. My understanding of economics began to decode the business jargon I'd hear when listening to National Public Radio or CNN, and I found myself paying closer attention to the world around me." I gravitated towards the marketing and economic fields because I am interested in the way people affect the economy.

I hope you don't mind that I used your wording in this paragraph. I'll most likely change it later but for now I'll just leave it in there.

My growing interest in these fields led me to working toward a more attractive application. This quarter, I joined the Circle K club and because it is the start of the school year, my club is starting to design their club shirts and I offered to help out. I thought that this could help develop my interest in the marketing field; after all, the club shirts are fundamentally apart of a club's advertisement.

The process of brainstorming t-shirt ideas made me realised how important teamwork is in this field of work. Growing our concept was easier when we bounce ideas off one another rather than pondering about it solo. Gradually, I gained confidence from the positive feedback given back to me. From this basic social exercise, I became more outspoken. I felt responsible for seeing the designing of the shirt through. It was like the minute I showed interest in the club shirts, I was bound to an unwritten contract to the club. I was able to balance this side project as well as keeping up with my school work. The club showed me I am capable of getting projects done when I set my mind to it.

Conclusion to tie back to the beginning or will the last sentence be enough of a conclusion?
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