avs140
Nov 19, 2012
Undergraduate / Moving accross United States, from Pennsylvania to California- Common App Essay Critique [3]
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
250-500 words
I have moved three times in my life which has been very hard for me It has shaped my character to who I am today. It has made me respectful and humble because to make new friends, you're not going to be mean to them or brag on what you've have done in the other places you have lived. Moving has changed me, but in the long run it has been the best thing for me because it will be a lot easier to make friends in the future. All the challenges that I have faced in my life have changed me as a whole, but moving has probably been the most life changing.
I moved many times as a child before I could even remember. I moved all across the United States, from Pennsylvania to California. When I start to remember things I lived in California with my mom and my Grandpa . We lived there until I started school. That's when I started to make friends in kindergarten through fourth grade. All too soon we moved again, causing me to cry. We moved to Montana.
My first time at my new school I didn't really talk to anyone. During the first week I got more social and more comfortable around the people. Most of the kids had been friends there whole life so they knew each other very well. After the first month of school I started making a lot of new friends, also I started to settle in for the four years that I attended. We decided to move to Butte because they knew there were jobs around the area. The private school idea sounded very scary, uniforms, nuns and the idea of high school. When I figured out there would not be uniforms or nuns I decided it would be fine.
High school has been one of the best things I have done. I have made closer friends in three years than I have in the past six years. Having to go to college next year I hope it will be easier to make new friends than when I moved all the other times. Moving has changed me into becoming a better person, also a more social person to my fellow class mates and total strangers. I hope when I go to college it will be easy to find friends. I hope when I get out of college it will be easier to meet future employers or just find future best friends.
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
250-500 words
I have moved three times in my life which has been very hard for me It has shaped my character to who I am today. It has made me respectful and humble because to make new friends, you're not going to be mean to them or brag on what you've have done in the other places you have lived. Moving has changed me, but in the long run it has been the best thing for me because it will be a lot easier to make friends in the future. All the challenges that I have faced in my life have changed me as a whole, but moving has probably been the most life changing.
I moved many times as a child before I could even remember. I moved all across the United States, from Pennsylvania to California. When I start to remember things I lived in California with my mom and my Grandpa . We lived there until I started school. That's when I started to make friends in kindergarten through fourth grade. All too soon we moved again, causing me to cry. We moved to Montana.
My first time at my new school I didn't really talk to anyone. During the first week I got more social and more comfortable around the people. Most of the kids had been friends there whole life so they knew each other very well. After the first month of school I started making a lot of new friends, also I started to settle in for the four years that I attended. We decided to move to Butte because they knew there were jobs around the area. The private school idea sounded very scary, uniforms, nuns and the idea of high school. When I figured out there would not be uniforms or nuns I decided it would be fine.
High school has been one of the best things I have done. I have made closer friends in three years than I have in the past six years. Having to go to college next year I hope it will be easier to make new friends than when I moved all the other times. Moving has changed me into becoming a better person, also a more social person to my fellow class mates and total strangers. I hope when I go to college it will be easy to find friends. I hope when I get out of college it will be easier to meet future employers or just find future best friends.