Writing Feedback / 'Effort to keep some things private' - question for the SAT [3]

Society did not have the opportunity to share "its" opinions
is a really great thing - seems a little too colloquial

I think, that your thesis needs to be showed in a slightly clearer manner
you should substantiate your stance using an example
probably that earlier people cooped up their feelings, and it was always only the people who they saw on a daily basis who could know about it.. and so on

and also, your essay is clearly just focussing on social media which might not be such a great idea as it wont really show your understanding of the assignment in a developed manner.

Hope i was of help.
good luck