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Posts by kkone
Joined: Nov 27, 2012
Last Post: Nov 28, 2012
Threads: 1
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From: United States of America

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kkone   
Nov 27, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Raise your hand if..' - UT Austin Type B- Issue of Art Education [2]

I feel like the essay is choppy and ineloquent so any advice would be helpful. Thanks!

Prompt: Choose an issue of importance to you, the issue could be personal, school related, political, or international in scope- and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation. (Must be no more than a page single spaced.)

"Raise your hand if you feel that academics is valued at your school." Everyone in the auditorium raised his or her hand.
"Raise your hand if you feel that athletics is considered important at your school." Most people raised their hand.
"Raise your hand if you feel that the arts are valued at your school." About five people raised their hand. The guest speaker at our school had proven an issue that was already widely known: the arts are considered subordinate compared to core academic classes and sports. However, whether educators, students, and parents believe so or not, art is essential in education and society.

In today's global community, the United States' school system has been worried about staying competitive with that of other nations especially in the fields of math and science. With schools stressing the importance of math and science, the arts fall by the wayside with it usually being the first department to get budget cuts. However, school administrators should reconsider their decisions against the arts. Being the daughter of two accountants and the sister of a science nerd, I have always understood the significance of math and science but the arts have brought out the best of my abilities that math and science never could. Art had a certain freedom and uncertainty that allowed me to learn in new ways. Through my own experience and observation, the arts expand essential skills that everyone should possess. Art develops creativity, imagination, a keenness to learn, and confidence to express one's self without fear of being wrong, which are all vital traits one should have. In addition, due to the collaborative nature of the arts, students develop crucial skills in cooperative decision-making, leadership, communication, and problem solving all while working with others. Also, the arts teach students to be more tolerant and open to multiple cultures and histories. Participation and exposure to the arts, whether in dance, music, theater, or fine art, develop self-confidence, self-discipline, persistence, and the knowledge of how to make multiple revisions to create high quality work. The skills and expertise that students grow by learning to perform, create, and respond to works of art provides a foundation that students need to have to communicate and work successfully in our ever-changing media, technology, and information age.

The arts not only make well-rounded people but they help to capture the thoughts of our society. They are a powerful vehicle for communication that helps to express visions and emotions that move beyond the capacity of words. It portrays the emotions, imaginations, and lives of people in a culture and shows what they think is important, beautiful, wrong, valid and fun. Art is a response to problems and occurrences in society and offers a viewpoint on that topic. This we know for sure because when we want to understand cultures in history we look at their artwork to catch a glimpse of a part of their society portrayed. Experiencing the arts today is important because it helps us to reflect upon us individually and collectively.

As William Bennett said, "the arts are an essential element in education, just like reading, writing, and arithmetic... music, dance, painting, and theater are all keys that unlock profound human understanding and accomplishment." Knowing how I have evolved and been inspired through the arts, I support and hope to see an expansion in arts education and a rise of art institutions in communities because the arts develop strong individuals and interpretations of our society.
kkone   
Nov 28, 2012
Book Reports / 'Kenneth Branagh Vs Gregory Doran' - Hamlet Film Comparison Essay [3]

First off you answer the question well. It is clear what you point you are making and you explain the examples well but let's make it a little more eloquent and exciting!

In general:
Plus make sure to italicize the title Hamlet when mentioning the play or one of the movies!
You use the word "uses" a lot. Look up some synonyms that can work just as well.

For the first line:
Hamlet, a play written by the famous William Shakespeare has effected the world especially in the media field.
what you're saying is a good opener but lets change the verb so it is more active and be a little more specific about what you are going to talk about (a comparison of different interpretations of Hamlet portrayed in film):

William Shakespeare's Hamlet has inspired many authors, artists, and readers including directors and actors in the film industry.

Then I would add another sentence about how Hamlet has stimulated various interpretations.

The rest:
Correction/additions in red, comments in green: Famous directors Kenneth Branagh and Gregory Doran each made a movie based on William Shakespeare'sHamlet. Kenneth Branagh directed a 1996 version of Hamlet while Gregory Doran directed a 2009 version of Hamlet. TheseBoth movies did havehadvarious similarities in the scenes , while some scenes in the Hamlet movies were portrayed differently from each other as wellin each movie . (Either start a new paragraph here or add "For example,") In Hamlet Act 1 Scene 5, Kenneth Branagh and Gregory Doran each had a different view on how they would portray this sceneportray the scene differently . Branagh has Hamlet, Horatio, and Marcellus in a creepy looking dark forest while Gregory Doran uses a moonlit dark, foggy room with some moonlight . The interesting thing aboutInterestingly, Branagh's version of Hamlet is that he uses different settings throughout the whole film while Doran version of Hamletcontinually goes back to using the dark foggy room in later scenes in the movie . These twoAlso, each directors each had a unique way to portray the ghost of Hamlet Sr. as they both had different views on how he should look,speak, and act.(Confused about what you are trying to say here in this next sentence) Gregory Doran gets the same actor to act as King Claudius and Hamlet Sr. Ghost to get the viewers thinking on why that director did something like that while Branagh uses different actors to be bothportray Claudius and Hamlet Sr.'s Ghost. The ghost of Hamlet Sr. had a intimidating look in Branagh's version while Gregory Doran gives the ghost of Hamlet Sr. a less intimidatingthreatening look. In Doran's version of Hamlet, there was no usage of flashbacks unlike Branagh's version, where the viewers get to see Hamlet Sr. die in front of his own brother Claudius (the last part after "and" makes no sense) and his past life as well. They each bothalso had a different taste in music for the settings,. Branagh uses more relaxing music while Doran uses fearful, dramatic music that would instill fear into the viewers watching this scene .

Let's polish closing sentence:
We can conclude that even though the movies were portrayed in different ways, its was interesting to see that both movies were not exactly similarity as well.

Comparing scenes from Branagh's and Doran's Hamlet, one can see each director had his own unique vision of Shakespeare's Hamlet.

Hope this helps! Good luck!
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