imbouziar8749
Nov 28, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'My Sister and I ' - a comparative essay revision [NEW]
Hi, Can somebody please revise my essay.
Thank you in advance
My Sister and I
When two people share the same blood and the same education, it does not mean that they will be exactly alike. Whenever someone meets my sister and I they are surprised to know that we both have the same parents. Sometimes they think that we are just lying. It is not just because we do not look alike, it is also because we have different behaviors, life-styles and likes in almost everything.
My sister and I have opposite personalities. She is very shy and conservative and more concerned about what other people think. She never makes any personal decisions because she never believes in herself. She also has difficulty learning from her mistakes because she still regrets every single one she has made. She was very short tempered when we were young especially when I did not appreciate her advices.
In contrast I am confident and liberal. I am not scared of the change because even if it turns bad, I try to learn from every mistake I make and focus on the present and the future. I have always been goal-oriented. I take risks to learn new things in life and that is how I became more calm and joyful.
My family thinks that she is the good girl because she is very traditional and religious; she stays at home all the time and assists to all their meetings. Her husband was her first
boyfriend because she never dated anybody before her graduation from college. Now she is an elementary school teacher and lives in Casablanca, Morocco.
I was very far from being the model because I have never practiced their religion, and I enjoy going out and meeting with new people. I started my first job when I was seventeen years old. I also lived in three different countries, and now I moved permanently to Benton Arkansas, and I am a full time student and a full time waitress.
Finally, we have different likes in almost everything from entertainment to food. She likes to listen to Moroccan and occidental music. She also dislikes dogs. When it comes to food she is very picky. She does not eat any fish or vegetables.
I enjoy all music except for Rap, Hip-Hop, and the music she listens to. I also get excited when I watch action and horror movies where as, she cries when she watches romantic movies. I had two dogs when I moved to my first place because she never let us have one at my mother's house. As long as I remember I have always liked all kinds of food.
In conclusion, no matter how different we might be we always support each other because we have dealt with the trials and the tribulations that come with growing up. We do not agree on anything but we love and understand each other especially now that we live thousand miles away from each other.
Hi, Can somebody please revise my essay.
Thank you in advance
My Sister and I
When two people share the same blood and the same education, it does not mean that they will be exactly alike. Whenever someone meets my sister and I they are surprised to know that we both have the same parents. Sometimes they think that we are just lying. It is not just because we do not look alike, it is also because we have different behaviors, life-styles and likes in almost everything.
My sister and I have opposite personalities. She is very shy and conservative and more concerned about what other people think. She never makes any personal decisions because she never believes in herself. She also has difficulty learning from her mistakes because she still regrets every single one she has made. She was very short tempered when we were young especially when I did not appreciate her advices.
In contrast I am confident and liberal. I am not scared of the change because even if it turns bad, I try to learn from every mistake I make and focus on the present and the future. I have always been goal-oriented. I take risks to learn new things in life and that is how I became more calm and joyful.
My family thinks that she is the good girl because she is very traditional and religious; she stays at home all the time and assists to all their meetings. Her husband was her first
boyfriend because she never dated anybody before her graduation from college. Now she is an elementary school teacher and lives in Casablanca, Morocco.
I was very far from being the model because I have never practiced their religion, and I enjoy going out and meeting with new people. I started my first job when I was seventeen years old. I also lived in three different countries, and now I moved permanently to Benton Arkansas, and I am a full time student and a full time waitress.
Finally, we have different likes in almost everything from entertainment to food. She likes to listen to Moroccan and occidental music. She also dislikes dogs. When it comes to food she is very picky. She does not eat any fish or vegetables.
I enjoy all music except for Rap, Hip-Hop, and the music she listens to. I also get excited when I watch action and horror movies where as, she cries when she watches romantic movies. I had two dogs when I moved to my first place because she never let us have one at my mother's house. As long as I remember I have always liked all kinds of food.
In conclusion, no matter how different we might be we always support each other because we have dealt with the trials and the tribulations that come with growing up. We do not agree on anything but we love and understand each other especially now that we live thousand miles away from each other.