Undergraduate / 'My mom says I'm an overachiever.'; Georgetown supplement [2]

I love your opening and closing and your use of specific numbers of seconds. I read the feedback of the user who told you that the first line is "too creative." I don't even know what that means. The whole point of these essays is to be creative, specific, and unique. I have been working as an essay and writing coach for almost a decade and I guarantee you that admissions officers are delighted by details and dulled by generalizations. You are on the right track!