ZainRMian
Dec 26, 2012
Undergraduate / Christopher Columbus / You want to be my friend; 2 Essays; Common App [2]
I think the title is self-explanatory. I've written two essays for the Common App, both of which are very different in a lot of ways. Which do you guys think is better? The first is on the topic about that one moment which is important to you. The second is topic of your own choice. (Y)
Essay One:
It was when I saw Christopher Columbus pointing towards the pier that I decided I wanted to study Literature.
I was in Barcelona at the time. Leaving my family in the mall that stood on the quay I chose to wander into the city without so much as map for guidance. Keeping my back to the sea, I had only a general sense of where I was heading, only remembering which direction the sea, and hence the pier, was, as I wandered through crisscrossing alleys with high Gaudi-an balconies and narrow European streets.
Though at first my only aim had been to explore the city- I had always wanted to visit Barcelona as a boy- very soon, I found direction in my journey. Crossing a busy intersection, I was forced to stop and read one of the blue road signs that showed what lay beyond which avenue and it was there that I read the three words that would shape my future: 'Arc De Triomphe'.
The arrow pointed diagonally into a different section of the city. Thinking, at first, that it would probably not be too far off and that I would most certainly regret not seeing it if I turned back from there, I changed course and walked without thinking- instinct my only guide. In the course of the hour that followed, I walked a long way without success. At the height of my disillusionment, I felt that I probably wouldn't be able to return because I had come such a long way off.
However, the strange thing is, everything was still beautiful. The air was still cold and comforting and the sun radiated hope. As I turned the corner- the last of many I had promised myself before- there it stood in all its red-bricked glory: The Arc of Triumph. I couldn't believe it. For ten minutes, I just stood there. The sun would soon begin to set, though, and out of sheer practicality, I had to return.
My journey back wasn't as straightforward as one would imagine at first. Though I had kept my bearings, I hadn't accounted for the intermediate dead ends, and at one instant, was almost lost once again. That was when I saw Columbus. Perched atop his two-hundred foot pillar, his right index finger pointing towards not only the sea, but as fortune would have it, the very quay I had abandoned only hours ago.
It was in that one evanescent instant that I understood the significance of everything that had happened that day. Of my instinctual wandering eventually finding purpose, of my will in pursuing that purpose, and its fulfillment embodied within the Arc of Triumph itself. It was then I realized I had to trust my instinct. To let my heart guide me in my endeavors, and, this is why, even now, as the better part of my extended family urges me to study medicine, I insist Literature is the only field I wish to go into.
Upon returning to my hotel room and tracing my route along a map, I discovered that I'd covered more than six kilometers that evening. And yet, the most important step I took that day, was deciding where my future lay.
Essay Two:
Dear Mr. Admissions Officer,
I hear you want to know me. That you want to be my friend. Well sir, I suppose there are some things you should know about me then. Things I wouldn't tell you, had you not made it a point that you wanted to know the real me. The me that's not my scores. The me that my transcript won't reflect.
Well sir, the first thing you should know is that I want to study English. You should also know that I don't have much support when it's come to this. My family doesn't really want me to pursue it, you see. I know they've always been hoping that I repent. That I regain common sense and revert to Medicine. And, though, if you really knew me, sir- had you ever come across me in real life, and talked to me- you wouldn't know this. I wouldn't tell you.
You would see a person that's strong, bordering on independent. But then there are so many things you would miss out on. Though at first he may seem stoic, possibly indifferent, the boy you see really isn't all that. He's insecure. He has feelings. In truth there are more days when he thinks his parents will be right- that he's ruining his life and will never find a decent job- than he thinks it will all turn out all right for him.
You wouldn't see how the thought of failure kills him on the inside, sir. When his own mother talks of how he's not applying to the best schools because he knows he can't get in. That he just wants to be away from home in a faraway place. He won't tell you how that crushes him on the inside- that he's even considered how much it would cost his dad to send him to those so-called 'top schools' and decided against it for that very reason. That though he never felt that other way before, he begins to feel some of it now.
But, that's not all, sir. For, you see, this boy has trouble committing himself to paper. Though he professes to be a writer, he can't make this page scream out who he is, like all those wonderful essays you read do. He can't compare himself to tofu, or the colors in the rainbow, but he knows it's not because he feels any less. It's then that he turns to the only thing he does know, and that is to be honest. He hopes that every syllable writ reeks of truth, if nothing else.
And, now as he's completed this letter to you, Mr. Admissions Officer, he know he's taking a risk: maybe this honesty won't affect you as much as metaphors do, and maybe, in going after his dreams he may fall flat on his face. And, yet, for once it does not faze him, sir, for he knows if you don't accept him as he is it's alright, because that's really the only person he can be, and if his dreams don't come true, he can live with himself knowing that at least he tried. For you see, Mr. Officer, all one can really hope from life is to have the right regrets. Everything else is a plus.
Sincerely,
Me
I think the title is self-explanatory. I've written two essays for the Common App, both of which are very different in a lot of ways. Which do you guys think is better? The first is on the topic about that one moment which is important to you. The second is topic of your own choice. (Y)
Essay One:
It was when I saw Christopher Columbus pointing towards the pier that I decided I wanted to study Literature.
I was in Barcelona at the time. Leaving my family in the mall that stood on the quay I chose to wander into the city without so much as map for guidance. Keeping my back to the sea, I had only a general sense of where I was heading, only remembering which direction the sea, and hence the pier, was, as I wandered through crisscrossing alleys with high Gaudi-an balconies and narrow European streets.
Though at first my only aim had been to explore the city- I had always wanted to visit Barcelona as a boy- very soon, I found direction in my journey. Crossing a busy intersection, I was forced to stop and read one of the blue road signs that showed what lay beyond which avenue and it was there that I read the three words that would shape my future: 'Arc De Triomphe'.
The arrow pointed diagonally into a different section of the city. Thinking, at first, that it would probably not be too far off and that I would most certainly regret not seeing it if I turned back from there, I changed course and walked without thinking- instinct my only guide. In the course of the hour that followed, I walked a long way without success. At the height of my disillusionment, I felt that I probably wouldn't be able to return because I had come such a long way off.
However, the strange thing is, everything was still beautiful. The air was still cold and comforting and the sun radiated hope. As I turned the corner- the last of many I had promised myself before- there it stood in all its red-bricked glory: The Arc of Triumph. I couldn't believe it. For ten minutes, I just stood there. The sun would soon begin to set, though, and out of sheer practicality, I had to return.
My journey back wasn't as straightforward as one would imagine at first. Though I had kept my bearings, I hadn't accounted for the intermediate dead ends, and at one instant, was almost lost once again. That was when I saw Columbus. Perched atop his two-hundred foot pillar, his right index finger pointing towards not only the sea, but as fortune would have it, the very quay I had abandoned only hours ago.
It was in that one evanescent instant that I understood the significance of everything that had happened that day. Of my instinctual wandering eventually finding purpose, of my will in pursuing that purpose, and its fulfillment embodied within the Arc of Triumph itself. It was then I realized I had to trust my instinct. To let my heart guide me in my endeavors, and, this is why, even now, as the better part of my extended family urges me to study medicine, I insist Literature is the only field I wish to go into.
Upon returning to my hotel room and tracing my route along a map, I discovered that I'd covered more than six kilometers that evening. And yet, the most important step I took that day, was deciding where my future lay.
Essay Two:
Dear Mr. Admissions Officer,
I hear you want to know me. That you want to be my friend. Well sir, I suppose there are some things you should know about me then. Things I wouldn't tell you, had you not made it a point that you wanted to know the real me. The me that's not my scores. The me that my transcript won't reflect.
Well sir, the first thing you should know is that I want to study English. You should also know that I don't have much support when it's come to this. My family doesn't really want me to pursue it, you see. I know they've always been hoping that I repent. That I regain common sense and revert to Medicine. And, though, if you really knew me, sir- had you ever come across me in real life, and talked to me- you wouldn't know this. I wouldn't tell you.
You would see a person that's strong, bordering on independent. But then there are so many things you would miss out on. Though at first he may seem stoic, possibly indifferent, the boy you see really isn't all that. He's insecure. He has feelings. In truth there are more days when he thinks his parents will be right- that he's ruining his life and will never find a decent job- than he thinks it will all turn out all right for him.
You wouldn't see how the thought of failure kills him on the inside, sir. When his own mother talks of how he's not applying to the best schools because he knows he can't get in. That he just wants to be away from home in a faraway place. He won't tell you how that crushes him on the inside- that he's even considered how much it would cost his dad to send him to those so-called 'top schools' and decided against it for that very reason. That though he never felt that other way before, he begins to feel some of it now.
But, that's not all, sir. For, you see, this boy has trouble committing himself to paper. Though he professes to be a writer, he can't make this page scream out who he is, like all those wonderful essays you read do. He can't compare himself to tofu, or the colors in the rainbow, but he knows it's not because he feels any less. It's then that he turns to the only thing he does know, and that is to be honest. He hopes that every syllable writ reeks of truth, if nothing else.
And, now as he's completed this letter to you, Mr. Admissions Officer, he know he's taking a risk: maybe this honesty won't affect you as much as metaphors do, and maybe, in going after his dreams he may fall flat on his face. And, yet, for once it does not faze him, sir, for he knows if you don't accept him as he is it's alright, because that's really the only person he can be, and if his dreams don't come true, he can live with himself knowing that at least he tried. For you see, Mr. Officer, all one can really hope from life is to have the right regrets. Everything else is a plus.
Sincerely,
Me