Undergraduate / academic rigor and competitiveness/ best students; Columbia SUPP/ Why Columbia? [7]

This is a good effort. However, there are two big issues with this essay:

1. Substitute Harvard for Columbia. Re-read. Do you see the issue? Admissions officers will think that you don't really know anything about Columbia other than its "big name." In order to be a compelling applicant, you need to convince the officer that you really love Columbia - not just competitive school X - since it's important to officers that they keep their yield high (meaning that if you're admitted, you'll come).

2. Is this too boastful? In my opinion, yes. You should avoid complaining in your essay (while you may not be challenged at your current school, there is almost no way to tackle this issue without coming off negatively).

This is what I think you need to consider when changing this essay around:

-Is there any particular program at Columbia that attracts you, and why? You need to at least mention what school [CC vs. Engineering] you're applying to.

-Talk about how you'd add some new perspective (maybe cultural?) to the Class of 2017
-You can talk about New York. However, be very specific. This is what I'd do: find an internship -- perhaps only available to Columbia/New York students -- that interests me. I'd research it, then write about it in my essay. What this tells admissions officers is that you have a compelling reason to be a Columbia student.

-Don't write about the beauty of New York/the campus. 25,000 other applicants are going to do exactly that, and the applications readers are going to feel like shooting themselves if they see another paragraph about the Big Apple.

Best of luck!

Undergraduate / Impeccable academics, breath taking view; Northwestern Sup- Why Northwestern? [3]

Nice essay! I love the fact that it's concise (especially when NU doesn't impose a word limit). Many seniors fall into the trap of getting excessively wordy and rambling, which you've successfully avoided -- so congrats! A few suggestions:

1. "Impeccable" -- consider a different word. "Well-regarded"?
2. breath-taking
3. Substitute "countless" in place of "infinite." Then, get rid of "Northwestern University offers countless activities that grasp my attention" since it's repetitive to that point.

4. Love this point about Autism Speaks! This would be a really good place to add a few sentences to personalize. It sounds like you might already be involved, or have a story relating to this organization? Show your motivations.

5. "what I'm passionate about" -- What are you passionate about? Be specific. Tell them what it is you're passionate about and why NU will support it (do they have a specific academic program? A professor you like? A club that supports the subject?)

6. This is a great line: "I value research while I continue my journey of self-exploration towards discovering my major and passion."
7. I'd get rid of "Maybe, somewhere along my journey at the Weinberg College, I will even discover an interest that I've never had the chance to be exposed to before" since you already touched upon this point in the last paragraph.

8. Put "Northwestern" in place of "one of the top colleges in the United States" (this is your choice, but to me it seems a little status-oriented to write about NU's high ranking)

Great essay! I think that admissions officers will enjoy your writing.