Undergraduate / Soccer is my life/ Common App/ Extracurricular activities [2]

Short answer: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences
Of all sports, soccer fascinates me, both for its excitement in terms of speed, strength, strategy and stamina and because of the teamwork it demands. I joined the school soccer team during my sophomore year. At that time the team was filled with sophomores and juniors and was doubted of becoming successful. However, in despite of many ups and downs, in 2011 we won the Conference title but lost to cross-town rivals in the Sectionals finals. Unsatisfied with the results, my fellow players and I worked hard throughout the winter and the summer, either individually or in workouts planned by our coaches. Through many hours of practice, the results finally came! This year we began defeating teams that would dominate us in the past; we played so well that we reached the State Championship game for the first time for any athletic team in Urbana High School history. Although we lost to the great team, I learned that there is really nothing that cannot be done with passion, determination, and hard work.

Any feedback it's greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Undergraduate / My grandmother; Common application essay; I have learned many things. [3]

Throughout life, we meet many people who impact our lives for better or for worse. For me, the person that has set the greatest example for me is my grandmother, Maria Elena Espinosa Medina. This powerful, resilient, and calm woman is the embodiment of what sheer will and the human spirit is capable of. Before she was even eighteen, my grandma had already suffered an eternity of pain. First, she witnessed at an arm's reach how her father was murdered in a mugging, how, due to the illiteracy of her family, she saw crooked lawyers trick her mother into taking a magnificent ranch, and have her baby brother die in a pool. Most people would fall into complete defeat, unwilling to go on in life, but my grandma's devout love for life and God would not allow her to falter. On contrary, my grandma has fought with every inch of her being to keep her and her family healthy and sound. Despite the many obstacles in her way such as a poor education, she made sure her children obtain a better quality of life. Even though she is old now, at the age of 93, she leaves her mark in all of her children and grandchildren she has nurtured. She never lost hope and everyday she is trying her best to have a normal life. She has always been there for me to congratulate me for my achievements and correct me from my mistakes.

From the example set by my grandmother, I have learned many things. I have learned that through valor, resilience, and willpower all obstacles that are thrown at me shall break at my feet. She has taught me to never allow myself to be defeated by the sufferings of life; to never let be consumed by the evils of life. But the most important lesson my grandma has taught me is love for my loved ones, and for all people; for there is already enough hate in the world.