dreamer9
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / My grandmother attended high school/ COMMON APP [2]
My grandmother attended high school. She did this by waking up at four in the morning everyday to finish her chores, so she could eavesdrop outside a classroom in the evening. She eventually acquired power through knowledge, fought for her rights. She is the reason my parents managed to come to the US. Thus, from an early age, I have understood the importance of education, which is why I was incredibly upset to come across a NY Times article about a 17-year-old Afghan girl named Shamsia. Some men on motorcycles throw acid on girls who "dare to attend school." Shamsia from her hospital bed declared: "I will go to my school even if they kill me. My message for the enemies is that if they do this 100 times, I am still going to continue my studies." Amazing. She inspired me to start my own charity, Women's Leap to Literacy, to send school supplies to carefully selected schools in Pakistan and India. So far, through this hand on experience, I've learned lessons I couldn't possibly have learned in a classroom setting. The communication with the schools in the Middle East has also fulfilled me in ways I can't possibly put into words.
A few months ago, I entered the Junior Achievement NY Business Competition, which fostered my two greatest passions: the empowerment of women and entrepreneurship. Although women make up 52% of the world's population, we unfortunately don't have equal rights. The other day, my mother's coworker fell on the stairs, received 25 stitches and six months of physiotherapy; the culprit: her four-inch pointy-toed stilettos. I'm disturbed that high heels, similar to Chinese foot binding, limit a woman's ability to move about, rendering her helpless in certain situations. Though undeniably, heels do give many women a surge of confidence. Thus, I created a solution, a product in which by literally taking off the heel, women could switch between the comforts of flats, to the confidence found in a pair of beautiful stilettos. From the accumulation of experiences at the BALI Woman Leadership and Institute, listening to the Kenyan ambassador's advice on giving back, self-made success stories from the founder of Tates cookies, as well as staggering statistics on women inequality, I believe I have found my calling. I want to use my education to make my life's ambition of making this product, or something of the equivalent, a reality. I desire to see my 52% both enjoying more of the simple pleasures in life, and strutting with heads held high, more sure of their place in this unsteady world. It matters to me that I'm making an effort to empower and fight oppression. It matters that somewhere in this world, there are others benefitting from my existence. It matters to me, that I matter to others.
Any help at all would be greatly appreciated, I promise to read yours in return.
If there's any way you can make it sound more eloquent, or concise, or fix grammar here or there, content or anything at all, that would be fantastic.
have a wonderful new year
My grandmother attended high school. She did this by waking up at four in the morning everyday to finish her chores, so she could eavesdrop outside a classroom in the evening. She eventually acquired power through knowledge, fought for her rights. She is the reason my parents managed to come to the US. Thus, from an early age, I have understood the importance of education, which is why I was incredibly upset to come across a NY Times article about a 17-year-old Afghan girl named Shamsia. Some men on motorcycles throw acid on girls who "dare to attend school." Shamsia from her hospital bed declared: "I will go to my school even if they kill me. My message for the enemies is that if they do this 100 times, I am still going to continue my studies." Amazing. She inspired me to start my own charity, Women's Leap to Literacy, to send school supplies to carefully selected schools in Pakistan and India. So far, through this hand on experience, I've learned lessons I couldn't possibly have learned in a classroom setting. The communication with the schools in the Middle East has also fulfilled me in ways I can't possibly put into words.
A few months ago, I entered the Junior Achievement NY Business Competition, which fostered my two greatest passions: the empowerment of women and entrepreneurship. Although women make up 52% of the world's population, we unfortunately don't have equal rights. The other day, my mother's coworker fell on the stairs, received 25 stitches and six months of physiotherapy; the culprit: her four-inch pointy-toed stilettos. I'm disturbed that high heels, similar to Chinese foot binding, limit a woman's ability to move about, rendering her helpless in certain situations. Though undeniably, heels do give many women a surge of confidence. Thus, I created a solution, a product in which by literally taking off the heel, women could switch between the comforts of flats, to the confidence found in a pair of beautiful stilettos. From the accumulation of experiences at the BALI Woman Leadership and Institute, listening to the Kenyan ambassador's advice on giving back, self-made success stories from the founder of Tates cookies, as well as staggering statistics on women inequality, I believe I have found my calling. I want to use my education to make my life's ambition of making this product, or something of the equivalent, a reality. I desire to see my 52% both enjoying more of the simple pleasures in life, and strutting with heads held high, more sure of their place in this unsteady world. It matters to me that I'm making an effort to empower and fight oppression. It matters that somewhere in this world, there are others benefitting from my existence. It matters to me, that I matter to others.
Any help at all would be greatly appreciated, I promise to read yours in return.
If there's any way you can make it sound more eloquent, or concise, or fix grammar here or there, content or anything at all, that would be fantastic.
have a wonderful new year