starlight21
Jan 4, 2013
Writing Feedback / correct choices - SAT Essay: Can success be disastrous? [2]
I don't usually write these types of examples for my SAT essays. Please be honest so I know what to fix/avoid for next time! Essay is out of 12
Prompt: Can success be disastrous?
Success varies in its form; it can be the success of a company, a space mission, and even a high school student. However, the methods we use to cope with the consequences of success are how we determine if fortune will continue to come. By examining the aspects of marriage and career choice, one can conclude that success can be disastrous only if an individual does not handle his or her success optimally.
Through observation of human attraction, an individual can determine that the success of the success will result only if a person is not overwhelmed by its consequences. A common example would be marriage. Many often view marriage as the end of a lover's journey and consider their betrothal as a success in the romantic aspect of their lives. However, one must carefully handle the side effects of this happiness. Many individuals will expect too much from their spouse and, thus, their marriage will result in a disaster. Others are simply not compatible with one another. If an individual is able to handle the compromises and hardships of marriage, however, he or she will truly be able to transform the marriage into a success. It is crucial that people do not expect the unlikely or impossible from others. If humans are able to hand the hardships of love, they will be able to avoid disaster and thus truly succeed.
Another way to avoid the disaster of success is to make the correct choices from the beginning. This aspect is demonstrated by success in career choice. Success is relative; often, a high school student's perception of success will reflect that of his or her parents. While this may be the optimal route most of the time, it does not necessarily end in the student's happiness, and ,therefore, is disastrous. If a student who truly wanted to pursue writing as a career was obligated and forced to become a computer engineer, would this be considered a success? While in society it might seem so, it would not truly be a success to the student. In order to avoid the route of disaster, one must make the correct choices from the start.
Through the analysis of marriage and career choice, one can conclude that a disastrous success can be avoided by correctly handling its consequences or eliminating the possibility of disaster from the beginning.
I don't usually write these types of examples for my SAT essays. Please be honest so I know what to fix/avoid for next time! Essay is out of 12
Prompt: Can success be disastrous?
Success varies in its form; it can be the success of a company, a space mission, and even a high school student. However, the methods we use to cope with the consequences of success are how we determine if fortune will continue to come. By examining the aspects of marriage and career choice, one can conclude that success can be disastrous only if an individual does not handle his or her success optimally.
Through observation of human attraction, an individual can determine that the success of the success will result only if a person is not overwhelmed by its consequences. A common example would be marriage. Many often view marriage as the end of a lover's journey and consider their betrothal as a success in the romantic aspect of their lives. However, one must carefully handle the side effects of this happiness. Many individuals will expect too much from their spouse and, thus, their marriage will result in a disaster. Others are simply not compatible with one another. If an individual is able to handle the compromises and hardships of marriage, however, he or she will truly be able to transform the marriage into a success. It is crucial that people do not expect the unlikely or impossible from others. If humans are able to hand the hardships of love, they will be able to avoid disaster and thus truly succeed.
Another way to avoid the disaster of success is to make the correct choices from the beginning. This aspect is demonstrated by success in career choice. Success is relative; often, a high school student's perception of success will reflect that of his or her parents. While this may be the optimal route most of the time, it does not necessarily end in the student's happiness, and ,therefore, is disastrous. If a student who truly wanted to pursue writing as a career was obligated and forced to become a computer engineer, would this be considered a success? While in society it might seem so, it would not truly be a success to the student. In order to avoid the route of disaster, one must make the correct choices from the start.
Through the analysis of marriage and career choice, one can conclude that a disastrous success can be avoided by correctly handling its consequences or eliminating the possibility of disaster from the beginning.