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Posts by Lily_J
Joined: Feb 3, 2013
Last Post: Feb 3, 2013
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 3
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Lily_J   
Feb 3, 2013
Graduate / My motivation towards becomming a physician assistant - CASPA narritive [3]

Here is my draft of my essay for PA school. CASPA instructs to "describe your motivation towards becoming a PA." I would really appreciate some feedback! The character limit is 5000 which is approximately 625 words. Thanks everyone!

I had no intention of falling in love that summer. The summer I worked in New Hampshire was going to be my last adventure before continuing my education in Iceland, my home. As it turned out, the summer I spent in New Hampshire was just the beginning of the greatest adventure yet.

Instead of returning to Iceland, I attended college in the United States, and majored in health science. This was a difficult decision to make; I was leaving my family, friends and everything I knew in Iceland to be with the one I love. It was the right decision for me; the opportunities I have encountered have been amazing. I would graduate sooner, which meant I would become a part of health care much sooner than I anticipated. I have always felt that health care is my personal calling in life. From a young age I found myself caring for others, if my brother was sick, no worries, I was on bucket duty! I was and still am the comforter in the family, I realize when people aren't feeling well and I will do whatever I possibly can to ease that. After my grandfather passed, my grandmother became ill. I stayed with her for weeks, making sure she ate and took her medications. I think the fact that I was simply just there, made the greatest difference in her recovery. Sometimes, that is all you can do.

The physician assistant profession does not exist in Iceland, sometime during my first semester I heard people talking about PAs and I had no exposure to this PA profession. After doing some research, I discovered this wonderful profession where you can work interdependently with physicians and provide patient care. I immediately fell in love, just like I did that summer. This profession has heart, originally founded to increase access to health care by extending the time and skills of the physician; it is something I want to be a part of. I have chosen the PA path so that I can be directly involved in helping others and improving lives. I was fortunate enough to have shadowed two outstanding physician assistants where I saw firsthand how dedicated, compassionate, empathetic and hardworking PAs are. There are never too many questions and never inadequate time to answer them, they are always willing to go the extra mile for their patients and this is the philosophy I wish to carry on. I have been exposed to the health care culture and language. I now know that I am ready to enter the field. Another thing assuring me that the PA path is the correct one for me is seeing how much PAs love their job. Career satisfaction is immensely important, the PAs I shadowed had been PAs for 10 and 15 years and they still love it. It's not just a job and that is very important to me. As an individual in health care, the learning never ends. I have the avid ambition to succeed, not only within the MCPHS program but also in enthusiastically pursuing lifelong learning as a physician assistant. Creating partnerships with patients to promote their health is my goal.

Yet again I find myself at the beginning of an adventure, this time pursuing my dreams of becoming a physician assistant. Although I have not known of the PA profession for very long, I have come to love it. It offers personalized and effective health care. The career options are phenomenal and career satisfaction is high. I have found my calling; I doubt this adventure will ever end.
Lily_J   
Feb 3, 2013
Undergraduate / Studying with foreign students; My exchange student planner [3]

Icebird, here are some suggestions:

Having military service two years ago, I thought that I would better go abroad as an exchange student. At first, I dreamed a fantasy of foreign countries only. However, later I recognized that the exchange student program was a tremendous positive opportunity to me.

You could rephrase to: Having served in the military opened my eyes to the opportunity of going abroad as an exchange student. At first, this was only a fantasy but I now realize what a positive experience the exchange program would be for me.

Also, I knew that the exchange program is a just one offer in my entire life...you have the right idea here, the wording is just a little off. You could say...Also, I know that the exchange program is a once in a lifetime offer.

Sometimes you get a little redundant, be careful with that.

Furthermore, due to my poor English skills, I do not wish to disturb foreign students. ...I think you should skip saying this. It's really negative. You aren't going to be a disturbance! Make your essay positive. You want to learn English and being around native English speakers will only help you and I am sure that they will be willing to correct you or tell you how things are.

I hope that helps! Keep working on it and good luck!
Lily_J   
Feb 3, 2013
Graduate / 'to develop myself as a well trained chemical engineer' Graduate Essay on Chemical Engineering [2]

Hi there, here are some suggestions. Overall it's a great essay! Good work! I would appreciate if you took a look at my essay.

I had got interested in science and mathematics right since school and furthermore the laboratory experiments in chemistry I had done at junior college...I became interested in science and mathematics right from the get go, furthermore the laboratory experiments I conducted as a junior in college left an indelible mark upon my mind

I really enjoyed your last two paragraphs! Good luck with everything!
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