RainySmiles1895
Feb 11, 2013
Poetry / What If Tomorrow Never Comes; Feed back on Poem [4]
What If Tomorrow Never Comes
Today the rain fell.
Today the worst came to worst.
Today everything went wrong.
But oh well right...
Today my heart broke.
Today my life ended.
Today my whole world crumbled.
But oh well right...
Tomorrow the sun will shine.
Tomorrow only the best may happen.
Tomorrow everything will go right.
Isn't that right?
Tomorrow my heart will still beat.
Tomorrow I'll still breath.
Tomorrow my entire world will fix itself.
Isn't that right?
But until then,
The rain shall fall
Until then,
My heart shall break
Until then, Dad, your still gone...
I was supposed to free write something for a creative writing class I'm taking. This is what came out. I really enjoyed the idea that I was playing with here, because it's an actual feeling that I've experienced. So I want to make this just flat out better. I would like for my lines to flow so to speak, but right now I feel like they aren't making any sense. Please, any suggestions will be more than appreciated.
What If Tomorrow Never Comes
Today the rain fell.
Today the worst came to worst.
Today everything went wrong.
But oh well right...
Today my heart broke.
Today my life ended.
Today my whole world crumbled.
But oh well right...
Tomorrow the sun will shine.
Tomorrow only the best may happen.
Tomorrow everything will go right.
Isn't that right?
Tomorrow my heart will still beat.
Tomorrow I'll still breath.
Tomorrow my entire world will fix itself.
Isn't that right?
But until then,
The rain shall fall
Until then,
My heart shall break
Until then, Dad, your still gone...
I was supposed to free write something for a creative writing class I'm taking. This is what came out. I really enjoyed the idea that I was playing with here, because it's an actual feeling that I've experienced. So I want to make this just flat out better. I would like for my lines to flow so to speak, but right now I feel like they aren't making any sense. Please, any suggestions will be more than appreciated.