stinna11
Feb 26, 2013
Writing Feedback / Vaule of Money & Hardwork: work experience [9]
1. Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).
Brought up in a town of privilege, the way I was raised was much different to that of my peers. Instilling the value of money and hard work in me at a young age, my parents told me they would match however much money I saved for my car. Young and ungrateful, I could not understand why I had to work every weekend, while my friends had fun. I took the frustration of living in two worlds out on my parents. When it came time to buy my car however, I had saved eleven thousand dollars on my own. While my peers treated their BMW's and Mercedes' with no respect, I took care of my car because I knew all the hard work that went into obtaining it. Although I argued with my parents about working in the beginning, I realized so much in the end. The world of entitlement that my friends were living in would not get me anywhere. It was not that my parents could not afford to buy me the car of my choice; they elected to teach me a life lesson about hard work, in which I am forever grateful.
That is my short answer PLEASE critique it this is a first draft and all criticism is appreciated! Thank you!!
1. Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).
Brought up in a town of privilege, the way I was raised was much different to that of my peers. Instilling the value of money and hard work in me at a young age, my parents told me they would match however much money I saved for my car. Young and ungrateful, I could not understand why I had to work every weekend, while my friends had fun. I took the frustration of living in two worlds out on my parents. When it came time to buy my car however, I had saved eleven thousand dollars on my own. While my peers treated their BMW's and Mercedes' with no respect, I took care of my car because I knew all the hard work that went into obtaining it. Although I argued with my parents about working in the beginning, I realized so much in the end. The world of entitlement that my friends were living in would not get me anywhere. It was not that my parents could not afford to buy me the car of my choice; they elected to teach me a life lesson about hard work, in which I am forever grateful.
That is my short answer PLEASE critique it this is a first draft and all criticism is appreciated! Thank you!!
