Scholarship / Career goals-short and long term and how will training help me/SCHOLARSHIP [6]

" I was prompted to start inquiring about nutrition and self healing modalities"... this sounds a little robotic and a little like you tried to find "big" words to boost your essay but it does not transcend into the rest of the essay. you could say for example " I started inquiring about nutrition and self healing rituals" i dont know. maybe that wasnt a good example but to me that [art of the sentence is a little foggy in correlation with the rest of the essay overall i think its a great revision especially since the first one. remeber to make this personal and about what your passion is and how this scholarship will allow you to fulfill that passion to your greatest capabilities.