lrpaz
Jun 16, 2013
Undergraduate / UT Austin Tranfer Admisson, Older tranfer student with pervious career experience [8]
Hello Peers,
I am applyin to UT Austin as a transfer student. The probkem I keep running into is it sounds too autobiographical. I dont want to come across as tooting my own horn or be too heavy on previous work experience. i would love if someone could give me some critcism on my rough draft. Thank You
My Rough Draft:
I have always been interested in nursing. But I didn't realize it till later on in life after being married and having two kids. When I was younger I took a pharmacy technician course and passed my California state board exam as well as my national certification from the Pharmacy technician certification board. I never worked as pharmacy technician, I took a once in a lifetime opportunity to work in the entertainment industry. I started as an assistant set decorator and worked my way up to property master my boss told me to lie about my age because no one would hire a property master who was under 25. I told her that that was my accomplishment I have done what most 30 year old men couldn't do, and I was a 25 year old woman. Something was missing though, I was at the head of my new career with opportunity aplenty, I and I wasn't fulfilled, I decided to take a more traditional corporate route and worked at CBS Studios in Hollywood. I started as a production assistant, running errands, typing transcripts, and shadowing people who were directors and producers. Then I heard about an internal opening for a news editor, I asked my department manager if I could take some editing classes to be an editor for the company and she thought that was a great idea. After I finished my editing classes she assigned me to not the news room but to a new show they were producing for the Los Angeles market; because of my previous experience she thought my leadership skills and industry knowledge would help with managing the post production crew better . I jumped at the opportunity, and worked as an assistant editor for many television shows produced by FOX, Byron Allen, and CBS Studios .I was admired by my colleagues and respected by my bosses. But then again I was not fulfilled.
I asked my boyfriend, who is now my husband, what his thoughts were and he told me to go back to the Pharmacy Technician field. He said when I was taking about television versus medications I had more passion in my words for medicine. I asked my closest friends what they thought of that and they all agreed that would be better off in the pharmacy. After digesting everyone's advice I looked inside of me and discovered that what I loved most about my job in the entertainment industry was working with diverse and colorful personalities and having to think on my feet. Nursing would be the perfect profession, I love learning about mediine and the fast pace nature of the nursing field.
-What do you think?
Hello Peers,
I am applyin to UT Austin as a transfer student. The probkem I keep running into is it sounds too autobiographical. I dont want to come across as tooting my own horn or be too heavy on previous work experience. i would love if someone could give me some critcism on my rough draft. Thank You
My Rough Draft:
I have always been interested in nursing. But I didn't realize it till later on in life after being married and having two kids. When I was younger I took a pharmacy technician course and passed my California state board exam as well as my national certification from the Pharmacy technician certification board. I never worked as pharmacy technician, I took a once in a lifetime opportunity to work in the entertainment industry. I started as an assistant set decorator and worked my way up to property master my boss told me to lie about my age because no one would hire a property master who was under 25. I told her that that was my accomplishment I have done what most 30 year old men couldn't do, and I was a 25 year old woman. Something was missing though, I was at the head of my new career with opportunity aplenty, I and I wasn't fulfilled, I decided to take a more traditional corporate route and worked at CBS Studios in Hollywood. I started as a production assistant, running errands, typing transcripts, and shadowing people who were directors and producers. Then I heard about an internal opening for a news editor, I asked my department manager if I could take some editing classes to be an editor for the company and she thought that was a great idea. After I finished my editing classes she assigned me to not the news room but to a new show they were producing for the Los Angeles market; because of my previous experience she thought my leadership skills and industry knowledge would help with managing the post production crew better . I jumped at the opportunity, and worked as an assistant editor for many television shows produced by FOX, Byron Allen, and CBS Studios .I was admired by my colleagues and respected by my bosses. But then again I was not fulfilled.
I asked my boyfriend, who is now my husband, what his thoughts were and he told me to go back to the Pharmacy Technician field. He said when I was taking about television versus medications I had more passion in my words for medicine. I asked my closest friends what they thought of that and they all agreed that would be better off in the pharmacy. After digesting everyone's advice I looked inside of me and discovered that what I loved most about my job in the entertainment industry was working with diverse and colorful personalities and having to think on my feet. Nursing would be the perfect profession, I love learning about mediine and the fast pace nature of the nursing field.
-What do you think?