Writing Feedback / MY THOUGHTS ABOUT WRITING HAS NEVER BEEN FUN, FAST OR EASY; Reflective essay [3]

They are looking all of this for in the reflective essay:
clear organization
well-developed, focused paragraphs
specific examples, details
well-constructed sentences
correct grammar and punctuation

here is my essay:

Reflection on Writing

When I use to think about writing, my heart would start to race because I wasn't confident in my ability to write. The idea of writing my thoughts down has never been fun, fast, or easy. I spend about 10-20 minutes looking at my paper before I can even begin to articulate. I chose my second essay because it still needed some work. When my teacher delivered my paper, I was praying it was going to be good news, I merely felt discouraged when I saw all the marking on my paper. Brain storming and finding a good thesis are other areas I need to work on. The biggest thing for me I think; is coming up with sentences that allow reader to understand my point of view. I thought that I should be able to draft an essay/paper in one sitting and be finished. I believe this is due to my challenge with spelling and grammar; not knowing a word would sink my confidence like the titanic. It's a difficult struggle to face personal growth when you feel rejection.

Being in EWRT 211, I have learned how to brainstorm for the thesis. We have covered a lot short essays about different authors with some of the same writing and learning disabilities that I and many others experience today. The reading on the short essays was very interesting to me. I wanted to know how the authors worked through their learning disabilities to become great writers. The essays were not just any old thing thrown together, they were inspiring life stories that analyzed some of the issues they face growing up and learning to write, some of the authors taught themselves how to read and write.

EWRT 211 has helped me build my confidence to be able to write about myself or expressed myself with words; which have been extremely exciting for me. I have found joy in writing. With my first essay, I waited to the last night before my assignment was due to start it. When I went to class the next day and we met in groups for our lit circle, we had to read the first few paragraphs. I noticed that if I had proof read it, I would have found some of the errors I made. I did the same thing with essay two. After the second essay was revised I realized that I was not spending enough time on my essay; and that's why the reader can't fully understand me. I knew if I read over the essay I would need to fix it and that's what I always dreaded, I felt like it might take too long. So the Lit circle groups became my best friend because we would have one or two of our classmates help us look over our essays. We would reflect on what needed to be fixed and learn about what was missing or needed to be changed it was great to help each other improve. The mini essay we would read for homework was a lot of help to me because we could write about our experience, comparing them to the authors that we read about.

I still need improvement on making my vocabulary stronger when choosing words to express myself in my writing. The struggle that I face with spelling has hindered my writing style all my life; I am now receiving help from the Educational Diagnostic Center here at De Anza College. The frustration that I felt with spelling will no longer be a problem because I will be using a spelling and thesaurus device, which will really help me along the way. I will be attending the speed 240 class in the summer. In that class I will be learn how to use different methods to help me with my learning disability, so that I can excel in English 1A during the fall semester. I do understand that if I read more it will help me to expand my vocabulary as well.

This summer, I will be reading the rest of the short stories in 50Essay's to help expand my vocabulary more. I am after a new passion for writing and I told myself after that second essay, "I am going to overcome my fear and learn how to write." Going into English 1A, I am excited to learn more about writing so that I can express myself at a higher level. I have a lot of work ahead of me before I am a great writer. However, the time that I have spent in EWRT 211 has opened my mind. Knowing English 1 A is not going to be easy or a walk in the park but I am prepared to write about this new journey in my life.

Writing Feedback / RACE! What is race? What does your race mean? [2]

Race! What is race, what does your race mean? Could life be better as one race than another? Would our race and its history be "your destiny?" I would sometimes ask myself, "I wondered if all race has the same struggle as the Native-Indians and African-American people." It seems that we are judged on are look referring to a person's; physical appearance, such as skin color, eye color, hair color. Your race can hold you back in some cases, but it's worth it to fight to overcome racism. No matter your race or the historical background of your race, "race should not stop your destiny".

There's a book about an Indian boy, who was inspired by his own experience growing up. The name of it is The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian. The Indian boy name was Junior; he grows up on the Spokane Indian reservation. Junior was born different and wanted more in life than what handed to him on the Indian reservation. He wanted to show that he could make more of his life and challenge himself. To do things differently despite, the racism he would face growing up. He was determined to prove he could do more than enduring great tragedies; he would be more than the average Indian was to be expanded. Junior's strength showed in his drawing of humor he found in his life about racism. Junior's passion for drawing was that race didn't matter, everyone would understand drawings. Drawing allows Junior to talk to the world not just to a single race or nationality. He wanted to feel important and it didn't matter what obstacles he would have to go through, to stand for something he believe in, however, junior felt it would be-worth it to fight for your destiny.

One of his illustrations on page 57 showed the two different races, the Indian man and the White man. It was his first day at Reardan High School. It was an all-white school in the farm town miles away. I think it was a culture shock; the only other Indian was the school mascot. The drawing explained his perception of what the white people looked like and what them tough of Indian. For the whites: it was a bright future, positive role models, money as for the Indians: rare race, no money, no health care, it shows the Indian culture is dying off poor and slowly.

There is another picture on page 88, it's a picture of a typical week of Junior's getting to school. He would try to hitchhike a ride to Reardan High School which is 22 miles to school. Someday he would have to walk home because of no gas money. Looking at the illustration I felt as he was sad about his life on the reservation. Being an Indian nothing ever goes right. No gas money=poor. The Old car=poor. Dad=drank=no gas money=no ride home. Page 107 there is a picture of his father with a quote "I'm only an alcoholic when I get drunk" juniors reply in the picture was (WTF, Dad?!). It said a lot about how he felt about his father and what he thought about him. His dad was not a good role model; he was more of a bad influence. Junior's father does not want to admit he is an alcoholic. Pain, his father drank to cover his pain. His father's heave drinking shows he is not happy with life. His father's lifestyle was the lifestyle of the majority of the Indians on the Rez. It was like if life as an Indian meant very little opportunity to better their lives.

Life in Stockton for me was like junior's life on the Indian reservation. It was like my life as an African-American and his life as a Native Indian life for our kind meant very little opportunity to better our lives. Once we chose our destiny; the areas where we grow up was just where our families have grown custom to live. Juniors and I wanted more for our life and took on all different obstacles life had in store; however, we stood up for what we wanted. I had to step out of my comfort zone to learning to express myself differently an artist. Junior and I opened are selves up to other races to learn other ways to live life. Don't let your race be in control of your density. Race is only a group of people united or classified together; the basis is of common history, nationality. Race is not who we are, it's a small part of who we are as people.