Undergraduate / My eyes were set on UT for quite some time; UT Austin Transfer/SOP [11]

jkjeremy, thank you for your input. I have completely reworked the essay. Here is the new version:

When I was in my senior year of high school, I had the privilege of holding the position of student body president in my school's student council. A traditional role of being student body president is giving a talk during the grandparent's day event held at the school. I was grateful for this opportunity to speak to two thousand grandparents about the instances that influenced my life. With this rare opportunity, I felt lead to speak about the influence that my great-grandfather had on my aunt's Christian faith. The ability to discuss the lessons he taught about leaving a Godly heritage for your family extended not only to the grandparents, but also to my fellow students as a result of being enrolled in the chapel practicum class at my school. Being enrolled in this class allowed me to speak to my fellow students during our daily chapel about the important things that God has put on my heart to share with them. I have spoken to them about such things from finding light in darkness to their identity in Christ. These experiences go beyond what I thought I could achieve during high school, and have helped me to envision myself as being more of a leader since I now have a taste of the ability to influence others. From this experience, I now understand how paramount it truly is that we as humans must work together in order to help create better people out of each other. While public speaking inspired me to influence others, I was able to understand the path my influence could take me when I had the rare opportunity to see into NASA's inner workings. It was incredible to see the environment that computer scientists and other engineers had for collaborating with each other's visions of how the future of space exploration will be realized. With this glimpse into what my foreseeable future will hold, I grasped onto the visions of my destiny.

Having the ability to see one's destiny is important, and I feel that many individuals lose sight of what their heart truly desires. I have seen individuals choose their major because they want the highest paying engineering job, or they forget about that one moment where they were inspired as a young child to pursue the vision they had of who they would be in the future. Ever since I was around nine years old, I have had a vision of myself developing new technologies that would transform the current state of society by solving issues that range from automobile accidents to obstacles in long distance communication. From these visions, I have chosen to remain on the path of computer science even though there are fields that have better salaries or a higher affinity from society. My heart is not set on finding prestige or the largest salary since I understand myself enough to know this is not what gives my happiness. What I truly desire is a career that integrates my passions for new technologies that redefine the current solutions available from the technology field. By developing compelling solutions that range from better collaborative enterprise software to designing a new kind of camera that enables the possibility for autonomous driving vehicles, I am reassured that I will not only fulfill my destiny but those of many others. For some, following the vision of one's destiny as a child seems naïve, but I see the challenges on the road ahead as being essential in order to condition me for that one moment where I am able to finally grasp that destiny I envisioned as a child. With the academia and programs offered at UT Austin, I am able to stretch my intellect with other students that have the same destiny that I pursue. It is rare to find such a place that allows me this freedom, and that is why I choose to transfer to UT Austin.

Undergraduate / My eyes were set on UT for quite some time; UT Austin Transfer/SOP [11]

jkjeremy, thank you very much for your complements. I would greatly appreciate it if you looked over my essay, but you can do so at your own convenient time. I'm in no rush. Thanks once again!

Undergraduate / My eyes were set on UT for quite some time; UT Austin Transfer/SOP [11]

jkjeremy, well it turns out that I have underestimated the amount of eagerness that I would have towards seeing the corrections made toward my essay. So I ask that you may start reviewing my essay so I may not constantly be checking my email for that forum notification. I know I said I'm in no rush, but if you possibly could I would really appreciate it.

Undergraduate / My eyes were set on UT for quite some time; UT Austin Transfer/SOP [11]

Fifteen hours is fine. I understand you are trying to make a living and that should always come first. Thanks for the reply.

Undergraduate / My eyes were set on UT for quite some time; UT Austin Transfer/SOP [11]

Well admissions open August 1st and close October 1st. I would prefer if somehow I could submit my application when the window opens since that goal will motivate me to complete my application sooner rather than dragging it on until cutting it close to the deadline.

This is from the website:
"If you're writing your essays to fulfill your admission requirements only, you should try to keep them no longer than one page (single-spaced). If you plan to use your essays to fulfill admission and honors requirements, follow the length guidelines specified by the individual program.

Although one single-spaced page may be enough to tell us what you want and need to say, the length of your essay alone technically doesn't matter. Developing your ideas completely does matter, however. If you can do that in a single page of text, that's good; but if it takes you three pages or so, that's alright, too (as long as you're not just adding words to make your essay longer). It's not realistic to assume that you can clearly communicate your unique perspective about anything in a short paragraph or two."

here is the url to read more on the whole essay business: bealonghorn.utexas.edu/transfer/admission/essays