luke
Apr 12, 2009
Grammar, Usage / 1st person - writing question [12]
I am confused, when you write in 1st person do you use....looked, not looking or look?
Here is a sample of my writing:
I looked down at my matriculation pad when it beeped and suddenly a voice rang out of it,
"Melor, this is intel we have evaluated your intelligence and tactical applications and you have been submitted into the ESOSU and are to report to the nerve center for farther debriefing, do you understand?
"Yes sir," I replied as I walked out of the dull, dark grey room, and into the dimly lit corridor. I could vaguely make out doors placed at irregular intervals and wondered where they led to. In the dim light I could barely make out the sign at the end of the hallway, it read: "Debriefing room" with an arrow pointed left. I turned left and kept on walking
Am I using the write tenses and what parts sound "awkward" ?
I am confused, when you write in 1st person do you use....looked, not looking or look?
Here is a sample of my writing:
I looked down at my matriculation pad when it beeped and suddenly a voice rang out of it,
"Melor, this is intel we have evaluated your intelligence and tactical applications and you have been submitted into the ESOSU and are to report to the nerve center for farther debriefing, do you understand?
"Yes sir," I replied as I walked out of the dull, dark grey room, and into the dimly lit corridor. I could vaguely make out doors placed at irregular intervals and wondered where they led to. In the dim light I could barely make out the sign at the end of the hallway, it read: "Debriefing room" with an arrow pointed left. I turned left and kept on walking
Am I using the write tenses and what parts sound "awkward" ?
