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Posts by tabithamica
Name: Tabitha B
Joined: Nov 16, 2013
Last Post: Nov 18, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  

Displayed posts: 6
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tabithamica   
Nov 16, 2013
Writing Feedback / I learn about who I am; DEPRESSION & ANXIETY [4]

Hello, this is my reflection paper on depression and anxiety. Please help me correct my grammar, as well as giving me some feedback on my paper. Thank you!

Instruction: Choose two topics in psychology and reflect it to your life.

People experience with anxiety or depression in his or her life everyday. Anxiety can be a positive output for some people; however, it can also be overwhelming in one's life due to fear or stressful events. Most people have felt depressed at times, but those living in a long-term depression can interfere with his or her life.

It is normal for people to feel anxiety in their life, although, anxiety can become excessive. In 2001, I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. Generalized anxiety disorder is the feeling of continuous tense and uneasiness (Myers 2012). When I was young, I struggled with abused, which caused me to worry uncontrollably. I felt agitated that it led to scratching my arms and legs nonstop leaving bumps. My anxiety worsened when I got the news that my mom had uncontrollable type 2 diabetes, I feared that I would be a child without a mother. I had a hard time concentrating with school and life itself; I distanced myself from others fearing the worse things possible. Having this disorder throughout my life was challenging, it led my friends and family to act differently around me, I was disappointed about who I am which caused me to become depressed.

Most people with depression go through an emotional state. Major depression is the mindset of feeling worthless and reduced interest in activities (Myers 2012). In seventh grade, I was bullied for being myself, a girl who has anxiety. I never told my parents that I was being bullied; I thought it would subside, but I was wrong. I forced myself to be happy throughout middle school changing who I was as a person, leading me to be friends with the "popular" group. I felt completely depressed because I was being someone I was not, just to fit in, I felt isolated; I was in a dark place. I started to lose appetite, I felt sleep-deprived, and I lost interest in activities with friends and family. The loneliness I was feeling caused me to self-harm to remove the pain I was living in. As I got older, my doctor explained that my behaviors were caused by major depression, and that it was genetic. My doctor recommended seeing a psychologist to understand what I was going through. Throughout my sessions, I learned that you should not be ashamed of who you are as a person, that it is a struggle living with both anxiety and depression, but to focus on the positivity of getting better.

Despite living with anxiety and depression, each day I learn about who I am. I accepted that I was different from most people, and not to place myself as a "nobody" or a "mentally ill" being. Each day I go through obstacles with anxiety and depression, and I sometimes do go back to my old habits. I remind myself what is important and what makes me content in life; I am no longer ashamed of living with such disorders.
tabithamica   
Nov 16, 2013
Writing Feedback / I learn about who I am; DEPRESSION & ANXIETY [4]

It's in APA form, I forgot to add that we are supposed to use one source [textbook] and rephrase the quote (only use two quotes from the book, rephrase it and cite). Everything else is based on our personal experience, no need to work cite, etc. Sadly, we're not allowed to use statistics since it's not really a research type essay

I just need help with grammar.
tabithamica   
Nov 17, 2013
Writing Feedback / MY IDEAL HOME; Apartment surrounded by a few shops and a park [5]

There are bookshelves, lovely paintings, and a classical wooden clock hanging on ana bright ornate wall.that has bright colors and a nice design . On the left there is a small and simple(I'm assuming this is a different room)In another room, there is the bedroom that onlywhich contains a bed, a bed-side table, anda lamp. Next to the bedroom there is,and a closet room where all the clothes and their accessories are kept. All in all, that wasthis is my vision on the idea of a model residence.

Across the apartment and on the corner there is a tiny, yet convenient kitchen.Across the living room is a small kitchen. The kitchen has a single big window that overlooks the street.
I took this sentence out because it doesn't make sense that you're ending talking about the kitchen after describing what your bedroom will look like. I prefer putting this where you're taking about the living room.

Hopefully this makes sense, this is how I would write it. Make sure not to be too wordy throughout your paper.
tabithamica   
Nov 17, 2013
Writing Feedback / Choose two topics from the book and reflect it to your life! [3]

Hello, I really need help with correcting my grammar on my essay. Thank you lots!

Instruction: Choose two topics from the book and reflect it to your life. You can only quote twice from your textbook and rephrase it (APA style). You cannot use any other source on your paper.

People experience with anxiety or depression in his or her life everyday. Anxiety can be a positive output for some people; however, it can also be overwhelming in one's life due to fear or stressful events. Most people have felt depressed at times, but those living in a long-term depression can interfere with his or her life.

It is normal for people to feel anxiety in their life, although, anxiety can become excessive. In 2001, I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. Generalized anxiety disorder is the feeling of continuous tense and uneasiness (Myers 2012). At a young age, I struggled with abused, which caused me to worry uncontrollably. I felt agitated which led to scratching my arms and legs nonstop leaving bumps. My anxiety worsened when I found out my mom had uncontrollable type 2 diabetes; I feared that I would be a child without a mother. I had a hard time concentrating with school and life itself; I distanced myself from others fearing the worse things possible. Having this disorder throughout my life was challenging, it led my friends and family to act differently around me, I was disappointed about who I am which caused me to become depressed.

Most people with depression go through an emotional state. Major depression is the mindset of feeling worthless and reduced interest in activities (Myers 2012). In seventh grade, I was bullied for being myself, a girl who has anxiety. I never told my parents that I was being bullied; I thought it would subside, but I was wrong. I forced myself to be happy throughout middle school changing who I was as a person, leading me to be friends with the "popular" group. I felt completely depressed because I was acting like someone I was not, just to fit in, I felt isolated; I was in a dark place. I started to lose appetite, I was sleep-deprived, and I lost interest in activities with friends and family. The loneliness I was feeling caused me to self-harm to remove the pain I was in. As I got older, my doctor explained that my behaviors were caused by depression, and that it was genetic. My doctor recommended seeing a psychologist to understand what I was going through. Throughout my sessions, I learned that you should not be ashamed of who you are as a person, that it is a struggle living with both anxiety and depression, but to focus on the positivity of getting better.

Despite living with anxiety and depression, each day I learn about who I am. I accepted that I was different from most people, and not to place myself as a "nobody" or a "mentally ill" being. Each day I go through obstacles with anxiety and depression, and sometimes my old habits comes and goes. I remind myself what is important and what makes me content in life; I am no longer ashamed of living with such disorders.
tabithamica   
Nov 18, 2013
Writing Feedback / MY IDEAL HOME; Apartment surrounded by a few shops and a park [5]

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your help.
but would mind explaining why did you cross out some words and sentences especially in the first and second reply?

Oh sorry! The reason I crossed out some words and sentences is because it's not needed. Make the sentence short, but concise.

I do agree with Pakias that you need to use a more advance vocabulary, depending on what grade you are in. Also, make sure you understand the words you're putting in your sentence, such as, "that enable the sun to," (before I crossed that sentence out and correct it); enable may sound like it fits in along with the sentence but it doesn't. Enable cannot be used because it means authorize, to make possible; you can't make the sun light up the room, it just does on its own. I hope you understand :)
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