Writing Feedback / Process Anaylsis Essay in 5 paragraphs (CompTIA Network+ Exam) [5]

Hi there, I just learned something new! I saw an incomplete word?

It is very import (important) that to take notes while reading each lesson. In order to fully retain the information learned, a few hours after taking the notes, go back and review them.

Undergraduate / Fall 2009: UCF ADMISSIONS ESSAY. 2 questions only. [4]

Thanks for feedback!

I will go with questions 2 and 3 as well as use the suggested corrections. I also tweaked it a bit. Does it flow?

2. How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are?

The Caribbean influence in my family environment sculpted me into the distinctive individual I am today. My father and mother immigrated to the United States from Guyana, and I will be the first American daughter in my family to go to college. My sisters and I were raised in a loving and very strict West Indian home in Queens, New York, where there was a constant exposure to other West Indians. However, growing up in Huntsville, Alabama and Seminole, Florida, while I was a teenager, made it hard to identify with our heredity; luckily, my parents cleverly integrated their culture to develop the roots of our individuality. We would sing and dance to Indian and Soca music, and watch Indian films. My parents utilized our ethnicity to help us mature and discover the heart of who we are as a person and in our society. We were taught to respect our elders and help those who cannot help themselves. The cultural traditions my parents have bestowed upon me, awards me with a strong appreciation for family and kinship values, community cohesion, and moral issues that includes responsibility and accountability for myself. Coming from a unique nationality, my family encourages me to embrace different languages, religions, principles, sports and other forms of self-expression. My parents have taught me to honor the legacy of my culture and use it to showcase my creative energies. My heritage is a dynamic force that embodies who I am; it enables me to maintain a positive sense of worth, self respect and dignity. The Caribbean influences my parents instilled in my life are characterized by positive optimism and inspiration as well as to improve the quality of my life and the people in it.

Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Which is better: to work for a company or own business? If you're active.. [4]

Quality is more important than quantity in every situation. This is especially true of one`s business. If I had chance, I would prefer to take position in a company, and work for the company rather than going into business for myself. There is no risk, less responsibility, and finally promotions within company work.