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Posts by khanraf3
Name: Rafid Khan
Joined: Dec 9, 2013
Last Post: Dec 12, 2013
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: Bangladesh
School: Dhaka College

Displayed posts: 2
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khanraf3   
Dec 10, 2013
Undergraduate / One should have an aim in life; U Toronto; Engineering [4]

This is the engineering admission essay of University of Toronto.As English my second language please scrutinize my essay and critique whether there are inaccuracies in vocab use or grammatical mistakes.

The requirements of the essay is:
What has inspired you to pursue an engineering degree and why would you like to study at the University of Toronto? What skills have you developed through your extra-curricular experiences that will support your future success as both a student and an engineer?

(Maximum 3000 characters including space and punctuations)
Here is my essay :

Although I didn't really have a certain target from the moment I learned that one should have an aim in life, my curiosity towards automobiles gradually turned out to be a passion of being a mechanical engineer.From the very beginning of my school life I have cultivated an indomitable fascination for cars and it all started with the model race cars I received from my father.Later I started to watch a TV program named "Super Cars" in National Geographic Channel which raised my enthusiasm to a substantial extent.The way that the engineers give a unique concept to an automobile,manufacture and assemble various parts have always fascinated me.The initial part of the program where designers used to make a primary sketch of the car has influenced me to draw sketches of automobiles and even now whenever I get a leisure I sit with my sketch pens and drawing book to produce some unique sketches of cars which are somewhat the realistic versions of my imaginations.Moreover,I often get down to work with the technicians whenever our very own car needs a repair.My limitless curiosity and enthusiasm towards automobiles have motivated me to dream about being an engineer.

Since I live in a country barely having any automobile factory, I didn't get the opportunity to take a tour of a car industry.Nevertheless with the advantage of my father being a maritime master I got to see the gigantic engine room of the vessel.The way those large engine functioned has really inspired me a lot to work with machines in real life.When I was promoted to 9th grade I participated in a science fair where my team demonstrated the project of a solar car and our hard work led us to come up with such an innovative idea which caught spectators' attention to a great extent.At higher secondary level i was exposed to the world of calculus and mechanics which always inspired me to apply the theorems and formulas in real life.Along with the passion which i have possessed within me from my childhood,my practical and extra-curricular activities assisted me to set my aim which is to be a mechanical engineer.

University of Toronto is such an institute which provides its students an outstanding environment for studying as well as enables them to be innovative and passionate.Having worldwide reputation,world class professors,abundant library resources it is providing excellent education to the students.The unique Co-op program which is called "PEY" attracted me mostly for its beneficial aftermaths.In addition,U of T has students from diverse cultures which let both the locals and internationals to intermingle more and know about their respective cultures.In order to emphasize the importance of extra curricular activities U of T has an extensive range of club activities.Considering all these facilities and the academic excellence of U of T,I firmly believe that If I can graduate from here I will be able to carry my dream of being a mechanical engineer to the next level.
khanraf3   
Dec 12, 2013
Undergraduate / One should have an aim in life; U Toronto; Engineering [4]

Thanks a lot.I will try to work on that part to fix it as soon as possible.
Apart from that is there any grammatical mistake or any inaccuracy in vocabulary ?
Since English is my 2nd language I might make a lot of grammatical mistakes.Inaccuracies may occur.
I would be grateful if you can tell me whether it's grammatically correct. :)
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