linahcharif
Dec 19, 2013
Undergraduate / 'The Moon?' ~ COMMON App - SOP [3]
Can you please give me some feedbacks on my statement of purpose ?? What do you think of it ?? Is there anything I need to change??
Thank you so much for your help !
Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?
Night rides are my moments of escape, when I loose myself gazing up at the sky, as if hypnotized.
The Moon. I find it to be particularly exquisite. Its unctuous texture reminds me of grandma's goat cheese - a delight ! One night though, between my stomach's grumbles and my wistfulstate of mind, I noticed a phenomenon that challenged a lifetime of misconceptions.
Dad, why does the moon follow us ? I awaited for a response, but only the engine seemed to hear me. I asked him again, louder. Still no answer. I sat back on my seat,deeply frustrated. My father was never oblivious to my unnecessary chattering, even the most ridiculous kind.For the rest of the trip, I kept still, and I tried to understand why I was so shaken by his behavior.
If someone ever asked me what I wanted to become, I would say I want to be like my parents. Being both accomplished engineers, they have always been my role models.My mother's creativity nourished my essence, and the rationality of my father gave me a sense of maturity at a very young age. Being the product of their union, I used to think I inherited their scientific mind as part of their qualities; a belief that was reflected in my audacityto take part into adults' talks.I was no more than an entertainment for them, but I enjoyed it when adultslistened to my opinion. It made me feel special.
That night, my father's silence showed me how bold I must have been to think that I was naturally gifted.The truth is, I was only taking advantage of my attentive, well-rounded parentswho would give me some of their time whenever my curiosity was itched; but now that no one answered my question I felt vulnerable, realizing that I might have missed something in the process of becominglike my parents...Totally absorbed by my thoughts, I did not noticethe car stop.
We had arrived home.
Still without a word, my father grabbed me with one hand, his survey equipment with the other, and took me to the roof. Standing on a stool, and I struggled to find the right angle with the theodolite. « Lower lower, no wait, tilt it to the left, now adjust it, there you go ! » Wow. I had never seen the moon this close. The bright regular dot in my mind, was actually a yellowish ball full of craters and bumps - more of a gruyere rather than goat cheese.
At the end of the experiment, I came to realizehow wrong I was : the moon does not even follow us, meaning that I have so much to learn. On the other hand, my father showed me that I was not much of a scientist, since most of the knowledge I acquired was not the result of my critical thinking.It was a turning point in my life. I became aware of my weaknesses, which only made me more determined to become the scientist I have always dreamed to be.
Since then, I have gained autonomy, not bothering everyone with my questions. I got used to answering them on my own, to the point that I started to simulate and crack eventual problems :from the trivial matter of creating a color changing wall paint, to a dramatic collision of the Earth with a meteorite. I therefore became a problem-solver ; a skill that I find of great use as being a member of the student counsel, as a Model United Nation delegate or simply as I watch overmy silly brothers interact. Today, I still ask a lot of questions, and I still do not have a full understanding of the world around me. However, given the boiling energy inside me, I am sure that nothing can stop me from achieving my goals, of any kind.
Can you please give me some feedbacks on my statement of purpose ?? What do you think of it ?? Is there anything I need to change??
Thank you so much for your help !
Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?
Night rides are my moments of escape, when I loose myself gazing up at the sky, as if hypnotized.
The Moon. I find it to be particularly exquisite. Its unctuous texture reminds me of grandma's goat cheese - a delight ! One night though, between my stomach's grumbles and my wistfulstate of mind, I noticed a phenomenon that challenged a lifetime of misconceptions.
Dad, why does the moon follow us ? I awaited for a response, but only the engine seemed to hear me. I asked him again, louder. Still no answer. I sat back on my seat,deeply frustrated. My father was never oblivious to my unnecessary chattering, even the most ridiculous kind.For the rest of the trip, I kept still, and I tried to understand why I was so shaken by his behavior.
If someone ever asked me what I wanted to become, I would say I want to be like my parents. Being both accomplished engineers, they have always been my role models.My mother's creativity nourished my essence, and the rationality of my father gave me a sense of maturity at a very young age. Being the product of their union, I used to think I inherited their scientific mind as part of their qualities; a belief that was reflected in my audacityto take part into adults' talks.I was no more than an entertainment for them, but I enjoyed it when adultslistened to my opinion. It made me feel special.
That night, my father's silence showed me how bold I must have been to think that I was naturally gifted.The truth is, I was only taking advantage of my attentive, well-rounded parentswho would give me some of their time whenever my curiosity was itched; but now that no one answered my question I felt vulnerable, realizing that I might have missed something in the process of becominglike my parents...Totally absorbed by my thoughts, I did not noticethe car stop.
We had arrived home.
Still without a word, my father grabbed me with one hand, his survey equipment with the other, and took me to the roof. Standing on a stool, and I struggled to find the right angle with the theodolite. « Lower lower, no wait, tilt it to the left, now adjust it, there you go ! » Wow. I had never seen the moon this close. The bright regular dot in my mind, was actually a yellowish ball full of craters and bumps - more of a gruyere rather than goat cheese.
At the end of the experiment, I came to realizehow wrong I was : the moon does not even follow us, meaning that I have so much to learn. On the other hand, my father showed me that I was not much of a scientist, since most of the knowledge I acquired was not the result of my critical thinking.It was a turning point in my life. I became aware of my weaknesses, which only made me more determined to become the scientist I have always dreamed to be.
Since then, I have gained autonomy, not bothering everyone with my questions. I got used to answering them on my own, to the point that I started to simulate and crack eventual problems :from the trivial matter of creating a color changing wall paint, to a dramatic collision of the Earth with a meteorite. I therefore became a problem-solver ; a skill that I find of great use as being a member of the student counsel, as a Model United Nation delegate or simply as I watch overmy silly brothers interact. Today, I still ask a lot of questions, and I still do not have a full understanding of the world around me. However, given the boiling energy inside me, I am sure that nothing can stop me from achieving my goals, of any kind.