Undergraduate / Reflections on military Veterans ; UW-Madison [5]

Hello,
I really like ur statement and it made my heart trembling .
This is just my personal opinion...I think there are lots of repetitions of words (like: huge,and, notice...)and information you can simply cut or edit.

For ex: 1)With my brother in the army, I know that it is a huge sacrifice to join and leave your family and loved ones and dedicate at least four years to this country we have the freedom to call home....i can suggest...With my brother in the army, I know that it is a huge sacrifice to join and leave the loved ones;to dedicate at least....

2) Things like giving that veteran thanks for his service and sacrifice to our country and for helping to ensure our our safety, may seem very small, but significant to that veteran, huge and significant.

3)...any of these things have a huge considerable impact.
4)I think it is important a problem of today that, most often, these such people orand their acts go unnoticed so that those giving are truly giving from the heart and out of a desire to give , rather than giving to be noticed, appreciated, or to get something in return. When they their deeds are noticedvisible/evident , it is all the more special to them, to the receiver, and to those observing.

Undergraduate / Reflections on military Veterans ; UW-Madison [5]

You are welcome and good luck :)
K.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: A Letter to a friend in an English speaking country [8]

Not bad :)
I would rather change second areas to places ,for ex.
I am really interested in visiting these areas places
K.