PeterV
May 15, 2009
Writing Feedback / 'manned spaceflight and education' - CLEP TEST ESSAY [3]
I have to take my English/Essay CLEP Exam in 18 days..I felt it made sense for me to focus on essay elements/structure first, then once someone gives me a go ahead I would begin writing within the 45 minute window. I am 45 yrs old, been out school along time, but will do what ever it takes ! Please someone comment on this partial piece I wrote using a prompt from my son..oopss my high school son who is helping me, also know as teach now :>)
here is the topic:
A student has been picked to fly aboard the next space shuttle mission. That student is you. Think about what it would be like to fly on a shuttle mission. Write to tell what happened on your trip into outer space.
We sometimes take things for granted, gravity should not be one of them, that is, unless you are aboard the space shuttle traveling at 18,000 miles an hour orbiting the earth! Once I entered NASA orientation my studies began in earnest, I had been chosen to fly aboard the next shuttle mission, for this education was to be truly interactive. I began by evaluating the student selection process, then learned mundane tasks aboard ship, but most importantly was how this trip changed my view of people and our planet.
Candidates for this flight where evaluated based upon essays written by high school students, addressed to the Director of NASA Flight Programs in Cape Canaveral Florida. My essay was chosen because it reflected a position held by children almost 50 years ago, that our future is guided by our past, and space will afford us the opportunity to once again unite for a common good. The decision to send a student into space was made by astronauts, educators and parents. Their goal was to promote education, manned spaceflight, and lastly to introduce students to science centric mentoring programs, and to evaluate its impact on space exploration.
I have to take my English/Essay CLEP Exam in 18 days..I felt it made sense for me to focus on essay elements/structure first, then once someone gives me a go ahead I would begin writing within the 45 minute window. I am 45 yrs old, been out school along time, but will do what ever it takes ! Please someone comment on this partial piece I wrote using a prompt from my son..oopss my high school son who is helping me, also know as teach now :>)
here is the topic:
A student has been picked to fly aboard the next space shuttle mission. That student is you. Think about what it would be like to fly on a shuttle mission. Write to tell what happened on your trip into outer space.
We sometimes take things for granted, gravity should not be one of them, that is, unless you are aboard the space shuttle traveling at 18,000 miles an hour orbiting the earth! Once I entered NASA orientation my studies began in earnest, I had been chosen to fly aboard the next shuttle mission, for this education was to be truly interactive. I began by evaluating the student selection process, then learned mundane tasks aboard ship, but most importantly was how this trip changed my view of people and our planet.
Candidates for this flight where evaluated based upon essays written by high school students, addressed to the Director of NASA Flight Programs in Cape Canaveral Florida. My essay was chosen because it reflected a position held by children almost 50 years ago, that our future is guided by our past, and space will afford us the opportunity to once again unite for a common good. The decision to send a student into space was made by astronauts, educators and parents. Their goal was to promote education, manned spaceflight, and lastly to introduce students to science centric mentoring programs, and to evaluate its impact on space exploration.