yanhongnanbk
Apr 8, 2014
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Most important room; Bathroom is my essential demand [6]
Hi everyone,
My name is Nam from Vietnam.
This is the first time i post an essay here. I hope that we can exchange knowledge. Here is my first essay, would you mind rating and correcting it? Thank you in advance :)
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Topic:
What do you consider to be the most important room in your house? Why is this room more important to you than any other room? Use specific details and examples to support your idea.
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Our houses have many rooms, and each room has its own function. Some people consider that their bedroom is the most important, because it is where they relax after a busy working day. Some consider their living room is the most important, because it is where they greet their friends, and their co-workers. However, from my point of view, the most vital room in my house is the bathroom. It is the bathroom that gives me space to release stress, it is the safest place for me to read banned books in my house and this is where I use to satisfy my essential demand.
First and foremost, bathroom is the best place for me to release stress. That is where I came in after each time I got low score in class. After getting in the bathroom, I always feel better. For example, ten year ago, when I still study in high school, I always received low score in literature. Whenever getting bad mark, I went to the bathroom, and threw the paper with low score in the water closet. By doing this way, no one in my family knew about my score. After each mission, I washed my face, and felt better than ever.
Moreover, bathroom is the safest place for me to read banned books. Every room except the bathroom in my house has camera, and the bathroom is the only place that no one notice. My parents do not permit me to read novel. I remember one time, when I prepare to take the entrance test, my parents do everything to prevent me from reading things that do not related to math, physic, and chemistry, That time, many of my friends read Harry Porter, and I was so curious about that book. I asked my friends to bring that book to my home. However I do not find any place to read that book. I cannot read it under the blanket in my bedroom because it is not enough light to read book. It would harm my eye sight. Finally, I found that, the best way to read that book is in the Bathroom. I locked the bathroom all morning, and lie to my parents that I got cholera. By doing that way, I read all seven chapters of the Harry Porter series, and my parents did not know about it.
Last but not least, Bathroom is the only place for me to satisfy my essential demand. I cannot do this kind of things in front of my house, or near the fences. I feel it comfortable to do these stuffs at my own bathroom. It is much cleaner than the public bathroom.
To sum up, in my opinion, the most important room in my house is the bathroom. Hardly can I imagine my house devoid of bathroom. This is the best place for me to release stress, safest place to read banned books, and only place for me to satisfy my essential demand.
Hi everyone,
My name is Nam from Vietnam.
This is the first time i post an essay here. I hope that we can exchange knowledge. Here is my first essay, would you mind rating and correcting it? Thank you in advance :)
=======
Topic:
What do you consider to be the most important room in your house? Why is this room more important to you than any other room? Use specific details and examples to support your idea.
=======
Our houses have many rooms, and each room has its own function. Some people consider that their bedroom is the most important, because it is where they relax after a busy working day. Some consider their living room is the most important, because it is where they greet their friends, and their co-workers. However, from my point of view, the most vital room in my house is the bathroom. It is the bathroom that gives me space to release stress, it is the safest place for me to read banned books in my house and this is where I use to satisfy my essential demand.
First and foremost, bathroom is the best place for me to release stress. That is where I came in after each time I got low score in class. After getting in the bathroom, I always feel better. For example, ten year ago, when I still study in high school, I always received low score in literature. Whenever getting bad mark, I went to the bathroom, and threw the paper with low score in the water closet. By doing this way, no one in my family knew about my score. After each mission, I washed my face, and felt better than ever.
Moreover, bathroom is the safest place for me to read banned books. Every room except the bathroom in my house has camera, and the bathroom is the only place that no one notice. My parents do not permit me to read novel. I remember one time, when I prepare to take the entrance test, my parents do everything to prevent me from reading things that do not related to math, physic, and chemistry, That time, many of my friends read Harry Porter, and I was so curious about that book. I asked my friends to bring that book to my home. However I do not find any place to read that book. I cannot read it under the blanket in my bedroom because it is not enough light to read book. It would harm my eye sight. Finally, I found that, the best way to read that book is in the Bathroom. I locked the bathroom all morning, and lie to my parents that I got cholera. By doing that way, I read all seven chapters of the Harry Porter series, and my parents did not know about it.
Last but not least, Bathroom is the only place for me to satisfy my essential demand. I cannot do this kind of things in front of my house, or near the fences. I feel it comfortable to do these stuffs at my own bathroom. It is much cleaner than the public bathroom.
To sum up, in my opinion, the most important room in my house is the bathroom. Hardly can I imagine my house devoid of bathroom. This is the best place for me to release stress, safest place to read banned books, and only place for me to satisfy my essential demand.