karltran3s
Apr 27, 2014
Writing Feedback / GRE: Development of technology and the way people rely on it too much. [2]
Hello everyone, I'm new to the GRE and I started to work on my English again two years ago as it's not so good.
I hope you guys can help me on correcting mistakes I made so I can improve my writing skills more.
This is the first time I write an essay.
Thanks in advance.
As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
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We are living in the epoch where technology has been developing to its zenith, all our lives are fraught with the existence of technology. According to some disquisitions those have been carried out recently, a blatant fact has been pointed out : we can still survive without products of technology, but it would make us struggle hard. Is it that dependent as we are seemingly unaware of the fact that we have been relying too much on technology ? A statement has been made : "As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate" and I strongly concur with it.
Undoubtedly we can't deny the convenience that technology brings to, it's interminable if we want to make a list. Lost in a jungle? Google Map. Talking with friends who live overseas? Skype. Watching a concert live? Youtube. A lot of smart applications has been invented, apparently it has been taking part in our lives as an indispensable part, replacing most stuffs that currently we would consider it "obsolete". Technology is really convenient and it makes our life much easier.
However, there's also another side of technology that should be scrutinized as it has been mentioned in the statement : people rely more and more on technology to solve problems. For instance, many people admit that they frequently use scientific calculator just to solve simple numerical calculations such as ten plus twenty, fifteen minus two, etc... Although it's just because we are used to using a calculator to solve problems but it can be viewed in a deeper perspective : we are getting to rely too much on technology, unconsciously.
As the last part of the statement has pointed out : the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate. Back the the example about using calculator to solve simple operations in the paragraph above, some surveys have been carried out that gave us a lot of interesting results. Most people who have the habit of using calculator frequently, they spend more time solving a simple task without calculators in a comparison to others who don't rely much on this convenient product, evidently it shows us that relying too much on technology might make our ability of thinking tardy as a matter of fact. Not only calculator as it was just a simple example to highlight my agreement with the given statement but also everything technology. Relying on anything too much might be harmful.
In conclusion, technology is fascinating but we also have to develope our own abilities because we are simply not a robot but a human being.
Hello everyone, I'm new to the GRE and I started to work on my English again two years ago as it's not so good.
I hope you guys can help me on correcting mistakes I made so I can improve my writing skills more.
This is the first time I write an essay.
Thanks in advance.
As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
-------------------
We are living in the epoch where technology has been developing to its zenith, all our lives are fraught with the existence of technology. According to some disquisitions those have been carried out recently, a blatant fact has been pointed out : we can still survive without products of technology, but it would make us struggle hard. Is it that dependent as we are seemingly unaware of the fact that we have been relying too much on technology ? A statement has been made : "As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate" and I strongly concur with it.
Undoubtedly we can't deny the convenience that technology brings to, it's interminable if we want to make a list. Lost in a jungle? Google Map. Talking with friends who live overseas? Skype. Watching a concert live? Youtube. A lot of smart applications has been invented, apparently it has been taking part in our lives as an indispensable part, replacing most stuffs that currently we would consider it "obsolete". Technology is really convenient and it makes our life much easier.
However, there's also another side of technology that should be scrutinized as it has been mentioned in the statement : people rely more and more on technology to solve problems. For instance, many people admit that they frequently use scientific calculator just to solve simple numerical calculations such as ten plus twenty, fifteen minus two, etc... Although it's just because we are used to using a calculator to solve problems but it can be viewed in a deeper perspective : we are getting to rely too much on technology, unconsciously.
As the last part of the statement has pointed out : the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate. Back the the example about using calculator to solve simple operations in the paragraph above, some surveys have been carried out that gave us a lot of interesting results. Most people who have the habit of using calculator frequently, they spend more time solving a simple task without calculators in a comparison to others who don't rely much on this convenient product, evidently it shows us that relying too much on technology might make our ability of thinking tardy as a matter of fact. Not only calculator as it was just a simple example to highlight my agreement with the given statement but also everything technology. Relying on anything too much might be harmful.
In conclusion, technology is fascinating but we also have to develope our own abilities because we are simply not a robot but a human being.