ma_shelley
May 16, 2014
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Your job brings you more happiness that your social life does [5]
agree or disagree : Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.
Outline: thesis- society comes first while job's influence can't be ignored
1. Job-substance life +achievement-happiness
2. Job' happiness based on social life+ social life's influence last longer
It becomes quite heatedly debated in recent years that our job has more effect on our happiness than our social life does. Personally, I think the influence on happiness exerted by relationship in the society comes first while the effect of an occupation in the society should never be ignored.
I guess no one could deny the significance of jobs to our pleasure since it offers money to meet our need in the substance life. Nowadays all the assets we have like houses, cars, clothes and even ordinary items are greatly dependent on our job's income. Job, being regarded as the material life's resourceļ¼ has been providing our various chances and possibilities to meet the happiness such as tasting a favorite dessert, purchasing a fond cloth, listening to a fascinating concert, experiencing a romantic travel and so on. Besides the satisfaction with the substance life, the achievement for success can derive from jobs, which brings happiness to our heart as well.
However, admitting job's influence does not mean putting the role of social life in the second place. Social life ranks ahead of job actually because the happiness job affords is built on the fundamentally social life and relationships among the society is quite indispensable. When seeking for a job, what people pay more attention is not the salary but its human resource background. 'What kind of people I work with? Will I learn more from them or undergo a worthy experience?' These are questions the job-seekers usually ask themselves, which indicates the importance of social life. A high-income job with an uncomfortable relationships among co-workers just leads you to be fed up with, let alone brings happiness. Moreover, the happiness social life offers can last longer. After retiring, you can still get together with your previous co-workers. You talk, laugh and have a lot fun. All these wonderful things are due to that they have become a part of your social life.
According the argument above, I reinforce my unshaken stand point that job is obliged to be ranked as the priority in terms of influence on our happiness.
agree or disagree : Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.
Outline: thesis- society comes first while job's influence can't be ignored
1. Job-substance life +achievement-happiness
2. Job' happiness based on social life+ social life's influence last longer
It becomes quite heatedly debated in recent years that our job has more effect on our happiness than our social life does. Personally, I think the influence on happiness exerted by relationship in the society comes first while the effect of an occupation in the society should never be ignored.
I guess no one could deny the significance of jobs to our pleasure since it offers money to meet our need in the substance life. Nowadays all the assets we have like houses, cars, clothes and even ordinary items are greatly dependent on our job's income. Job, being regarded as the material life's resourceļ¼ has been providing our various chances and possibilities to meet the happiness such as tasting a favorite dessert, purchasing a fond cloth, listening to a fascinating concert, experiencing a romantic travel and so on. Besides the satisfaction with the substance life, the achievement for success can derive from jobs, which brings happiness to our heart as well.
However, admitting job's influence does not mean putting the role of social life in the second place. Social life ranks ahead of job actually because the happiness job affords is built on the fundamentally social life and relationships among the society is quite indispensable. When seeking for a job, what people pay more attention is not the salary but its human resource background. 'What kind of people I work with? Will I learn more from them or undergo a worthy experience?' These are questions the job-seekers usually ask themselves, which indicates the importance of social life. A high-income job with an uncomfortable relationships among co-workers just leads you to be fed up with, let alone brings happiness. Moreover, the happiness social life offers can last longer. After retiring, you can still get together with your previous co-workers. You talk, laugh and have a lot fun. All these wonderful things are due to that they have become a part of your social life.
According the argument above, I reinforce my unshaken stand point that job is obliged to be ranked as the priority in terms of influence on our happiness.