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Posts by ak2909
Name: Rohan Sharma
Joined: Jun 3, 2014
Last Post: Jun 9, 2014
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: India
School: none

Displayed posts: 5
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ak2909   
Jun 3, 2014
Undergraduate / Liberal arts program essay: New University in India [3]

A small thing to note India offered little to no support to anyone with a mild handicap or problem until very recently, I don't think I highlighted that but that is important to understand the context.

Any event, no matter how small, that causes a person to reconsider , not only, how he looks at the world , but also, how he looks at himself is a significant experience. For me that event was reading "A short history of nearly everything" by Bill Bryson. On the face of it reading a book might seem a minor thing to list as a significant experience but it affected me profoundly

As a young child , I have been told, was a very inquisitive and analytical child. I always asked how, what and why questions to my parents and relatives. I enjoyed learning how things worked and what made a machine tick. I loved taking things apart (I struggled putting them back together). That spirit was killed bit by bit through primary and middle school

I have Sensory Processing Disorder(SPD). SPD,in addition to a myriad of small, yet annoying, symptoms, causes poor handwriting. Handwriting severely affected my academic success. While I understood most, if not all, of what was taught in class I could never translate that into marks because of the writing involved. Teachers yelled, punished and embarrassed me for a fault that I could not correct.Any joy or thirst I had for knowledge and learning was slowly quashed until I grew uninterested in school and subjects taught.

One thing I still had a passion for was reading, I loved, and still love, reading.In grade 8-9 I mainly read fiction like John Grisham, Greg Isles, Jeffrey Archer,and Arthur Conan Doyle. I rarely read non fiction, my uncle gifted me the book A short history of nearly anything for my 13th birthday, I thought it looked like a daunting read. For a few months it lay on the back of my book shelf, gathering dust. I finally gained the courage to read it about 4 months after receiving it. It was my first foray into the world of non-fiction and I was hooked.

What I connected most with is the acute, childlike sense of wonder seeping through the pages.It is that magic, that wonder which rekindled my love of learning. Bryson floods you with great analogies amazing science and an all round sense of amazement at the beauty of science.What impressed me the most was the fact that complex ideas and theories were written in a way that made it accessible to a 13 year old layman. The practical, small scale ramifications of the science were humorous and revealing simultaneously my favourite one, that I remember to this day is when you sit in a chair, you are not actually sitting there, but levitating above it at the height of a hundredth millions of a centimetre. The thrill and joy I had while I was reading reinvigorated my and shook me out of my lackadaisical mindset

This awakening forced me into action, I started to enjoy learning again Youtube tutorials like khan academy became almost daily viewing, non fiction became a significant part of what I read and school instead of disheartening me cheered me up.I was sprung into action. I still received suboptimal grades because of my handwriting but that did not dampen my spirit.The experience of learning was what was important.

The creation of Coursera thrilled me no end I signed up as soon as soon as the first class launched and I thoroughly enjoyed it.School came in the way during grades 10,11 12 and I could hardly fit any courses in but since then Coursera has been a resource I've utilised to the full extent along with other MOOC providers.

This passion would not have awakened if I had not read the book "A short history of nearly everything" it changed everything about me, or should I say it turned me back into the person I once was as a young child
ak2909   
Jun 5, 2014
Book Reports / How's this for an intro? A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS! [2]

Hi,
It's a great intro! I am from India and am very passionate about fighting against the injustice women face here, both at a personal, and societal level.

I think this sentence could be reworded: The major issues in this book are the abuse that Mariam and Laila face, the neglect Aziza faces, and Mariam's execution.

I think that it is a parallelism error( I may be wrong)
A better version would be

The major issues in this book are the abuse that Mariam and Laila face, the neglect that Aziza faces, and the execution of Mariam's execution.

I don't think there are any other problems with it. I had to read "Although it may seem as if this issue has gone away, it is still predominant all over the world" again, it's right but I was a little confused for a second( could be just me)
ak2909   
Jun 5, 2014
Undergraduate / Liberal arts program essay: New University in India [3]

Thanks,I don't know why but my character counter behaves a little different. I had 3985 in the edited version so adding that one line made it 4126.I did a little trimming and its at 3999 characters. Thanks for your help.
ak2909   
Jun 9, 2014
Letters / Scholarship Appeal Letter, failed to meet required GPA, very disappointed [2]

Hi
To Whom It May Concern,

I am honored to have been a recipient of the Spirit of Auburn Founders Scholarship, and it has allowed me the opportunity to attend Auburn University. Unfortunately, my grades have slowly declined, I failed a course this past semester, and as a result I have failed to meet the requirements for renewal of my scholarship. I am writing to you allin the hope that the decision to cancel my scholarship will be reconsidered.

This past semester was particularly difficult and stressful for me. Obviously,C lasses are getting more difficult as I am getting into my major courses. I began dealing with an increasing amount of stress, as any other college student would, along with depression and anxiety. It crept into my life in the form of loss of motivation, trouble focusing on academics, and constant worrying about every little thing that happened in my life. I knew things were getting worse for me mentally , which in turn affected my academics.

After struggling with an episode that led to the contemplation of taking my own life, I made the tough decision to seek help through Auburn's Student Counseling Services. After my first session, it was immediately clear to my counselor that I was facing depression. Some may think depression has become a common diagnosis, especially among college students, orand don't understand its impact on one's life. But this has been one of the hardest things to cope with in my life . It is a daily struggle in everything that I do. However, now that I know what I am dealing with, I am getting the help that I need. I attend counseling sessions every couple of weeks, and I am constantly trying to improve my outlook on life. I am confident that with regular counseling I will be able to handle my condition better than I have been dealing with it previously.

As I go into my junior year here at Auburn, I plan to continue getting counseling, get academic help as needed, and stay motivated and focused on school. I am extremely disappointed in myself for allowing my GPA to fall, and I want more than anything to improve my condition and my academics. I fully understand the areas in which I need to improve on and ask that you reevaluate the decision to revoke my scholarship. If granted this scholarship again, I will work hard to meet its requirements, which I know that I am fully capable of doing. I thank everyone on this scholarship committee for the opportunity to regain my scholarship and hope that you understand my situation. I have attached my psychological evaluation from this past spring. Again, thank you for your time and consideration.

I would also suggest you re phrase this sentence "It crept into my life in the form of loss of motivation, trouble focusing on academics, and constant worrying about every little thing that happened in my life.", It's a little awkward but I cant point out what is wrong with it
ak2909   
Jun 9, 2014
Undergraduate / Essay for a liberal arts program - 'without art world would be a poorer place' [NEW]

My prompt is: What in your opinion is one art form without which the world would be a poorer place? I have a 2000 character limit and I use 1998. I cant seem to think of a way to end it. The 2000 character limit is strictly enforced, it is impossible to enter more than that

Whether its the veena from India, the mandolin from Italy, the Oud from Mesopotamia or the guitar from Spain, one thing is certain the human race has, and always will have, a love of music. Music is a universal language that everyone communicates with, from the simplest beats to the most complex symphony.

There are a few instruments that have inspired me as much as the guitar. From the technical blues of Robert Johnson, to the sweet harmonies of Simon and Garfunkel, and the wonder that is the Beatles, there are few instruments that have had as much as an impact on music. Music connects with a person at a level that nothing else can, it touches the deepest parts of our heart.Music is used to inspire, and celebrate. Colleges, and sports teams, have their theme song, people remember an endearing moment from their past during the playing of an old tune, we play music at weddings and graduation

The pleasure derived from music is simple and unrivalled, however music has also led to a lot of political change as well.For early humans it was a tool - much like language - to bind a group together and help them thrive over those who remained alone. This group aspect of music survived well past the days of cavemen into the present.Music with a message thrives in a live setting,

and many politically conscious musicians aim to channel the heightened emotions of a concert into something productive

Music as a form of protest is a common theme across the world, from the fight against slavery perfectly demonstrated in "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot", the fight against the apartheid as expressed in "It's Wrong" , or the many,many songs of protest against the Vietnam war, music is a catalyst for change. Bob Dylan's entire musical history is that of a cry for change. We Are the World is a recent example of musicians coming together trying to raise awareness, and money for the impoverished and tragedy affected parts of the world.

Without music, life would be a mistake.
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