kurosusu
Jun 25, 2014
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: 11 month study period for a better, more efficient education [2]
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students could receive a better, more efficient education if they spend 11 months a year studying.
I don't think extended study period will make education more efficient. In opposite, 11 month study period will cause many negative impact to students. The two main reasons explain as follow.
To begin with, 11 months study is too stressful for students. Especially for young kids. If they were under high pressure for a long time, they tended to show negative emotions and behavers. Such as hate to go to school or drop out during the class. No doubt, these will greatly make the education inefficient. For instance, Last Friday, I was going to take my ten-year-old cousin Danny to the Disney park. But when I saw him, he was so depressed. Than he told me he have to go back school taking classes the whole summer holiday. "I hate school right now, I want to come with you." he bagged me. Danny was a clever and happy boy once, and he loved school and keen on learning new things at past. In this case we should leave some time to student themselves, let them fully relax and enjoy their spare time. Therefore, they can fuel up and totally prepared for the next task.
Second, 11 month education also may do harm to students' health condition. As we all know students face enormous competition among their peers. In order to fulfill the expectation for their parents and teachers, they have to make the most effort to finish study task. Normally, many of them must do their assignment until 12 o'clock at midnight. Then they have to get up at five on the morning hurry to school start they whole study day. On average only five hours sleep is inadequate for young students. Scientist have approved that lack of sleep will do unrecoverable damage to young students' brain development, and weaken physical strength as well. If student have to finish 11month study per a year, there will be less than one month for them to recover from over used brain and exhausted body condition. For a long turn education arrangement, fragile health condition will weaken students competitiveness, and make education less efficient.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students could receive a better, more efficient education if they spend 11 months a year studying.
I don't think extended study period will make education more efficient. In opposite, 11 month study period will cause many negative impact to students. The two main reasons explain as follow.
To begin with, 11 months study is too stressful for students. Especially for young kids. If they were under high pressure for a long time, they tended to show negative emotions and behavers. Such as hate to go to school or drop out during the class. No doubt, these will greatly make the education inefficient. For instance, Last Friday, I was going to take my ten-year-old cousin Danny to the Disney park. But when I saw him, he was so depressed. Than he told me he have to go back school taking classes the whole summer holiday. "I hate school right now, I want to come with you." he bagged me. Danny was a clever and happy boy once, and he loved school and keen on learning new things at past. In this case we should leave some time to student themselves, let them fully relax and enjoy their spare time. Therefore, they can fuel up and totally prepared for the next task.
Second, 11 month education also may do harm to students' health condition. As we all know students face enormous competition among their peers. In order to fulfill the expectation for their parents and teachers, they have to make the most effort to finish study task. Normally, many of them must do their assignment until 12 o'clock at midnight. Then they have to get up at five on the morning hurry to school start they whole study day. On average only five hours sleep is inadequate for young students. Scientist have approved that lack of sleep will do unrecoverable damage to young students' brain development, and weaken physical strength as well. If student have to finish 11month study per a year, there will be less than one month for them to recover from over used brain and exhausted body condition. For a long turn education arrangement, fragile health condition will weaken students competitiveness, and make education less efficient.