Scholarship / Library in Bronx - "A Change To The Intellectual Community" - Essay for Questbridge [7]

WOW! I loved your suggestions! I tried using the about 208 words to also talk about helping the elders. What do you think about it now?

I come from the Bronx, New York which, as everyone knows, is a poor community where families barely have enough income to help support the students in their family. That means the kids do not have access to the internet, personal computers, or books. We have to go to the library for those. There lies the problem for my intellectual community. Our local library has vandalized books that lack pages and the computers meant for homework are taken over by gamers who take hours playing games when it could have been used by students to complete their homework. Many times, when a student goes to use a computer to do homework, time is insufficient. We cannot forget that the library is also used by aging baby boomers who seek calmness outside their house. The seniors and adults spend a significant time in the library seeking the useful resources. Libraries has been shown throughout history that it facilitate the process of being social while obtaining new knowledge. That is why if I were given a chance, I would work on improving our library system for the benefit of the indigents in the Bronx.

The library is the heart of the community, nurturing those who seek enlightenment. I would invest in variety of activities, to help the aging generation get involved and know they still part of the community. One problem that is common with elders in today's world is that most are not familiar with managing technological devices such as a computer or Smartphone. These are currently basic skills that are becoming necessary in today's world. They should not be facing problems such as not being able to operate basic machines such as the MTA machines in train stations used for obtaining a ride on public transportation. 'WE' as a community shall not leave anybody behind. Leaving them behind would just cause them to feel unimportant also incapable within the community. Ultimately, more activities would be provided to help the aging baby boomers.

If given the chance to help my intellectual community, I would start by rehabilitating the local library through the help of fundraising and charitable donations. This means finally getting a chance to replace the worn out books with new editions and adding more computers and printers so that the students and gamers will have equal chances at using the units. Only a few sets will be allowed for gaming. All the rest will be for serious study time. I would renovate the library by making it look more a Starbucks outlet. Hopefully, the more relaxing and calming atmosphere of the new library will entice my fellow students to spend more time studying in the library. Approaching SAT season, I will make sure that the local library, in its new image, will be ready to help the students review through tutorial and review classes. By showing how successful the new image of our library is, I will then be able to lobby for more funding for its continued improvement.

Writing Feedback / Working for the same or different company for all life. Discuss both view and give opinion (IELTS) [3]


A number of people choose a company which results into a long term career. On the other hand, many feel that is more interesting when they change their working environment. Although both views have its benefits and drawbacks, I believe that employees should work for several companies


For example, forming a group for a new project is facilitating and effective because people have worked together in the past creating a bond.Secondly, a stable job is quite safe because its pension and health insurance when employees retire. One more thing, employers value long-term workers for their loyalty, so that employees might be nominated for higher position as well a better reward.


In Conclusion, working in the same organization during working life may be safe, but changing to a new organization is more interesting building wide ranges of experiences. This help workers adapt quickly in the new challenge and chance of globalization.

Scholarship / Library in Bronx - "A Change To The Intellectual Community" - Essay for Questbridge [7]

What do you think about this concluding sentence?

Ultimately, more innovations would be provided to help the aging baby boomers have stimulating continuity of rich flowing intellectualism.

This is all I can think of right now.

Undergraduate / The smallest infection or malignancy can be catastrophic and debilitating for a person; Career Goals [4]

I read your short answer and I can say I honestly love it. You used a great assortment of vocabulary words. I do feel however that you should somehow work to state what is your ultimate career goal at the very end as a way to conclude the essay. This would result in the reader able to know at the end straightforward your aim without any confusions. Hoped my suggestion helped :).

Undergraduate / The smallest infection or malignancy can be catastrophic and debilitating for a person; Career Goals [4]

Your welcome :)

Scholarship / The pain and struggles in life is what develops a true experienced successful person!- Questbridge [5]

Yes you was right, it had tons of mistakes and confusions. I try to redo the essay and hopefully is way better but I need your opinion on it. Thank You!

"When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful", is a quote once said by an inspiring Eric Thomas. This is the quote that I always go back to when I need the extra push in life to not give up. I grew up in Bronx, New York; where I never felt safe once I stepped out my house, never knew if I would make it back home without wounds. I could recall nights where I would be sleeping till I get woken up by a common sound that terrifies human ears- click clack BANG, BANG, BANG. There is a police precinct one street down but the violence was too strong with most of it happening in the corner of the block I am currently living. Numerous of peers in my community died by stray bullets during shootouts. I can recall how I dodged a shootout by literally a couple of minutes in winter of 2013. After working out, I headed home walking at a rapid pace past a notorious park in order to get to my home. Once I entered home and dropped my bags to get ready to eat, a shootout went on between rival gangs. It terrified me and my family as I was lucky to have missed it by a couple minutes. My mom does not stop crying wishing to move to a better area but cannot due to financial hardships. It destroys my soul to see her devastated through the windows of my eyes.

A challenge that has impacted my life that I would never forget besides street violence and economic hardship happened in eighth grade. I was bullied verbally and physically because of my financial status and being overweight. I never reported it to authority due to being afraid of threats. Mom asked me, "what's wrong Andy?" and I would reply saying nothing just sick to avoid more conflict in her life. I did not attend school for a month resulting in depression, anxiety, and not being able to think with clarity. Depression caught up to me so much that I never sat to think the reason to bully me was ignorant. I attended two other schools the same school year. Moving out of state to live in Massachusetts with my aunt just made things worse as I was exposed to violence within the house. My grades dropped significantly but I graduated middle school and came back to New York.

Despite my challenges I am determined to complete my goals. I entered the school year serious and made sure nothing was going to stop my ambition to be successful. I will serve as an example to my family that is not impossible to attend a great college with the proper dedication. Once I entered high school I was determined to change my thinking and who I am to prevent the past experiences occurring again. My major will be Biology then grad school for physical therapy or bachelors in Bio-medical Engineering. These goals were developed when I started studying human physiology online and became fascinated with the human body. I want to challenge myself by going down the biological field path in college. I am open minded about college, hoping to take as much advantage as I can of any opportunity I can access in a diverse community.

"Our duty is to encourage everyone in his struggle to live up to his own highest idea, and strive at the same time to make the ideal as near as possible", was said by Swami Vivekananda. The art of altruism is something I highly honor. I am not being raised in America to reap just the opportunities; I am here to create opportunities for America. My goal is to try helping out the community I was raised by to provide educational experiences that would be motivating to try keeping more students out the street. A single student not in the street is one less tragic, one less statistic. I would like to contribute to a better education foundation to my local library which helped significantly in my childhood even developing relationships with staffs that would help me from homework to getting my family tickets for a baseball game. I am hoping to also create a fitness organization within my college campus where the participants would be able to get fit in an enjoyable way while giving an educational experience teaching about human body physiology. I want to create a more diverse and successful community. From my experiences, setbacks, and challenges, I learned three important facts which is the code I live by Motivation, Ambition, and Dedication. In Conclusion, I do not regret any challenge in my life because they made me today to be the future of tomorrow.