Writing Feedback / Working for the same or different company for all life. Discuss both view and give opinion (IELTS) [3]

I greatly appreciate if you correct my essay.

A number of people choose a company and they stay with this organization for the rest of their working life while others feel that there is more interesting when they change their working environment. Although both views have its benefits and drawbacks, I believe that employees should work for several companies.

On the one hand, there are several benefits for people who only work in a company. Firstly, they have a thorough understanding of their job, and it is also easy for them to connect to other staffs in working processes. For example, forming a group for new project is quite easy and effective because people have worked together before. Secondly, a stable job is quite safe because its pension and health insurance when employees retire. One more thing, employers value long-term workers for their loyalty, so that employees might be nominated for higher position as well a better reward.

On the other hand, people who stay with the same organization can get stuck doing same job year by year, and it may lead to boredom and disillusionment. Changing from one company to another may be a strategic decision, but with a deliberate plan, employees can have and acquire a range of skills and experience. For example, employees can learn managing skill when they work for an international organization in comparison with run-state company. They can also get higher incomes and bright prospects because their contribution in a larger scale. Another point, they can develop their flexible ability to adapt effectively to constant changing of the economic system.

In conclusion, working in a same organization during working life may be safe, but changing to new organization has more interesting and help workers adapt quickly in the new challenge and chance of globalization.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: IMPROVED MEDICAL CARE > LIFE EXPECTANCY - advantages vs disadvantages. [2]

Please help me with this essay.

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the disadvantages of this development outweight the disadvantages?

Along with the development of technologies, advanced medical care has played an important role in the improvement of life expectancy. Although the increase in life expectancy has some pressure on the Medicare system, I am inclined to believe that the advanced medical care brings with it more benefits than disadvantages.

The main advantage of high-tech medical care is that people are better taken care so that they have a good health. They can contribute effectively to the development of the economy because healthy workers can create more productivity. In other words, they do not have to spend more time in health checking or treatment so this saves an amount of time as well as cost.

In addition, a community with the elderly who have a good health has a major role to play in a sustainable development of a society. In facts, young people will be happy as their parents, grandparents are healthy. It can be said that the improvement of medical care makes a better life for all people.

On the other hand, some people maintain that the increase in life expectancy puts a high pressure on the economic system because more pension have to spend for Medicare instead of investing in other sectors of the economic system. Although it is real in some aspects, I believe that the capital that spend on taking care the elderly is contributed by these people during their working time, so they are worth to have good care. They have given their effort to the society so that young people, the governments have a responsibility to improve the Medicare system.

By way of conclusion, it is true that the development of the health care system helps people have a better life. It helps people build a sustainable society where people can live a happy life when they are old.