ahmadbk
Sep 28, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: a notable number of children are working in different occasions in today's business life [4]
In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibilities.
What are your opinions on this ?
The discussion whether it's right or wrong for children to work in a paid job is a debateable one. Even though, there are logics provided by supporters of both views, I completely believe the idea that having a work experience during childhood should be encouraged.
It seems to me that the social development of children can be provided by not only family environment, but also the outside world . For example, a child who works for a restaurant can develop himself by learning the learn and being responsible for duties and thereafter, he can apply these to the school environment. Furthermore, I believe that time management is an essential component of our lives in today's world and if children are encouraged to work, they will learn how to devote their time effectively between work, school, and leisure.
On the other hand, it's a fact that the value of money earned by parents is not appreciated by the most of the children. Nowadays, children can have excessive spending habits without thinking the consequences as they spend their families' money. However, in my opinion, children would think twice before buying something if they had their own money in their pockets. Additionally, such children would develop the sense of empathy towards those who are poor and would appreciate their lives more.
In conclusion, it's clear that a notable number of children are working in different occasions in today's business life and I believe that having a paid work at a young age has many positive impacts on children's development such as obtaining different skills and learning the value of money earned.
Thank you for all feedbacks & possible band scores! Have a nice day!
In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibilities.
What are your opinions on this ?
The discussion whether it's right or wrong for children to work in a paid job is a debateable one. Even though, there are logics provided by supporters of both views, I completely believe the idea that having a work experience during childhood should be encouraged.
It seems to me that the social development of children can be provided by not only family environment, but also the outside world . For example, a child who works for a restaurant can develop himself by learning the learn and being responsible for duties and thereafter, he can apply these to the school environment. Furthermore, I believe that time management is an essential component of our lives in today's world and if children are encouraged to work, they will learn how to devote their time effectively between work, school, and leisure.
On the other hand, it's a fact that the value of money earned by parents is not appreciated by the most of the children. Nowadays, children can have excessive spending habits without thinking the consequences as they spend their families' money. However, in my opinion, children would think twice before buying something if they had their own money in their pockets. Additionally, such children would develop the sense of empathy towards those who are poor and would appreciate their lives more.
In conclusion, it's clear that a notable number of children are working in different occasions in today's business life and I believe that having a paid work at a young age has many positive impacts on children's development such as obtaining different skills and learning the value of money earned.
Thank you for all feedbacks & possible band scores! Have a nice day!