Miumew
Oct 9, 2014
Writing Feedback / No comfort and experience in life being alone is not good for teens, better keep with parents -TOEFL [5]
The independence or freedom is the important thing for teenagers because they can do everything that they want without parents' complaint. In the other hand, the complaint can make children learn how to spend their life. For me, I prefer young adult to live with their families because of three main reasons composed of elder's suggestion, safety and suitability.
Most of young adults lack of experience and knowledge to stay alone. They do not know that is it proper or not and is it right or wrong? Children can be compared as apprentices always suggested and helped by professor until they reach their accomplishment. So, teenage should stay with their parent who can control them to do the right things and give a suggestion when they are in depression.
Exactly, because adults have dealt with jeopardy situation more than teenage, more experience more safety is the truth. For example, when the robber steals money in house at night, the parents know that what they should do and they have more conscious than their children. So, staying with family is more safety than stay alone.
The last, staying alone is not the comfortable life. There is not anyone to take care of lonely teenagers. They have to do everything such as laundry, cooking, sweeping own rooms etc., by themselves. These, reinforce with the two reasons mentioned above, show that young adults are not ready for the independent life.
Because of these reasons, I prefer to stay with parent. But, staying with parent or alone is up to persons who have different culture and though because the two ways have their own unique good points.
thank you for giving me feedback and comments !
The independence or freedom is the important thing for teenagers because they can do everything that they want without parents' complaint. In the other hand, the complaint can make children learn how to spend their life. For me, I prefer young adult to live with their families because of three main reasons composed of elder's suggestion, safety and suitability.
Most of young adults lack of experience and knowledge to stay alone. They do not know that is it proper or not and is it right or wrong? Children can be compared as apprentices always suggested and helped by professor until they reach their accomplishment. So, teenage should stay with their parent who can control them to do the right things and give a suggestion when they are in depression.
Exactly, because adults have dealt with jeopardy situation more than teenage, more experience more safety is the truth. For example, when the robber steals money in house at night, the parents know that what they should do and they have more conscious than their children. So, staying with family is more safety than stay alone.
The last, staying alone is not the comfortable life. There is not anyone to take care of lonely teenagers. They have to do everything such as laundry, cooking, sweeping own rooms etc., by themselves. These, reinforce with the two reasons mentioned above, show that young adults are not ready for the independent life.
Because of these reasons, I prefer to stay with parent. But, staying with parent or alone is up to persons who have different culture and though because the two ways have their own unique good points.
thank you for giving me feedback and comments !