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Posts by markcastillo27
Name: Mark Castillo
Joined: Oct 19, 2014
Last Post: Nov 13, 2014
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: United States of America
School: Hicksville High School

Displayed posts: 2
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markcastillo27   
Oct 19, 2014
Undergraduate / Significance of fashion - FiT applicant [2]

Prompt What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT? Why are you interested in the major you are applying to? The essay is also your chance to tell us more about your experiences, activities and accomplishments

English is not my first language, but I tried my best to write this. I have problems with my grammars and punctuations. All criticisms are appreciated. Please help me to change this and add more things.

(This is just my draft)

Fashion is a dream that takes you wherever you want to be. A form of art that can create things that inspires us. Fashion also speaks over ourselves, to what we feel, what we believe, and what we dream of. It will be my privilege to become one of the students of Fashion Institute of Technology, because what I see is a big future ahead of me.

As the time progresses, my dream never changed since I was little. I never dreamed to become one of the wealthiest people living in this world, but instead I wanted to become one of the most influential and aspiring people in the fashion industry who have committed many accomplishments and achievements throughout his life. A life that have been already fulfilled of many hopes and dreams.

Fashion merchandising management is a challenging, yet an interesting major. Fashion merchandising has a lot of responsibilities, tasks, and risks. As an individual, I am willing to take an audacity to any situation, as long as I am doing the right thing and keep believing in myself that those risks will help me to step further toward my dream. For sure, travelling will be part of this major, which is why I want to become a fashion merchandising student. Exploring the world is essential, because you will see different places, countries, seeing new faces, gaining new knowledge, and learning new cultures. For instance, my family and I traveled once from Philippines to United States of America to settle for good. There are lots of differences between the lifestyle here and lifestyle in the Philippines where I was born. It is beneficial to learn and discover new things in life when you grab all the opportunity to learn the knowledge behind it.

In my 17 years of existence, I believe that my life would end up in one place. I can't imagine that my feet would land in a foreign place. My faith in fashion gets even powerful when I had been to New York City. One of the places in this world where you can feel the strong presence of Fashion. I felt extremely invigorated when I landed in the place that I dreamed to go before. My whole life being attached in fashion was flashed before my eyes. All those memories I had when I was little are already being fulfilled. There are people who doubted me, questioned me, and vilified what my future would end up. Because of them, I became more eager to pursue the dream that I choose. Because of them, I gained a strength to establish what I have started. Getting into the mainstream of the Fashion Industry. Proving them wrong will not help me to become successful, nor achieve my goals. Proving myself right will help me to progress and become innovative. Taking this huge step in my life is the best thing I have ever done throughout my whole life. Behind these crucial steps with me is guided by my inspiration that molds me to become creative, proficient, and standing up with the adversities that will come across along my way.

Fashion is not about the cost or brands, it's about wearing it every day. Wearing an expensive label will not give you a style, it just shows what you are in the society. Style comes naturally within ourselves. It has a lot of varieties, and these varieties express every single personality. Fashion is not about producing wealth, it just comes along with the ideas I will make as a prize. It's about recognizing the ideas that I will pioneering for the Fashion Industry that will give me an acknowledgement for the masterpiece I have done. Fashion is also unpredictable. I have witnessed a drastic change when, many years have passed or even when I wasn't born yet through photos. That is why I have to stretch my creativity to every single change it creates.

Fashion has great significance in my life and I firmly believe that this chosen path I take will lead me to my desired future. F.I.T. will help me to obtain all my goals and help me to gain more knowledge behind fashion. I simply believe that F.I.T. will offer me an abundant opportunities in the Fashion Industry.
markcastillo27   
Nov 13, 2014
Writing Feedback / My Writing Improvement - I don't have a lot of writing experiences, especially in English [7]

I would say that I don't have a lot of writing experiences, especially in English because I came to America from Saudi Arabia last year.

I would say that I don't have a lot of writing experience, especially in English because I came from Saudi Arabia to America last year. (Sounds better)

I would suggest that it makes a lot easier if you get used to start speaking and thinking some thoughts in English and do not write the way you speak, I came from another country too and I know what you meant. And don't afraid to ask.
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