Writing Feedback / Older the railway system is the better and longer it gets. London 1863. IELTS task [2]

I will have my IELTS test next month and this is my first try in the writing part so I need your opininons.

the task is about a table which gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.
Unfortunately I can't post a pic for the task.

The table provided gives us data about underground railway systems in several
Cities. Including date opened, kilometers of route and passengers per year.

From the data shown the oldest railway system was found in London in 1863. After approximately 37 years
Paris caught London and had its own system. Followed by Tokyo(1927), Washington DC (1976), Kyoto(1981), and finally LA in 2001.

As for the route length, London also has the lead with 394 KM of railway system. Kyoto city
Comes at the bottom with only 11 KM. the situation in La doesn't differ distinctly from Kyoto
with merely 28 KM of railway system. Paris, Tokyo and Washington DC did a good job developing
Its railway system wit 199,155 and 126 KM length respectively.

But the situation isn't the same when it comes for how much passengers per year using the
Railway system in the cities mentioned. Tokyo and Paris 's railway systems serves
1927 and 1191 millions passengers every year respectively, Comes next London with
775 millions passengers. And as expected Kyoto comes at the last place with only 45 millions per year.

We can conclude from the data mentioned above that the older the railway system is the better and longer it gets.