mjbyrd
Nov 22, 2014
Research Papers / Lupus and its Lifestyle - Research Paper [4]
May you please give me feedback. I believe my essay could be stronger on a few different areas. First, I could improve on correctly citing my cites. Secondly, improve on building a stronger voice throughout my paper. Lastly, use more college level vocabulary throughout my entire paper.
Remember that the research paper will run between 8-10 pages, will integrate sources from a diverse array of resources using MLA style, will have a clear thesis/research question as the backbone of the paper, will avoid fallacious rhetoric, and will construct logical arguments to advance the ideas in the paper. In short, the research paper is where you fulfill the goals you set forth in your proposal paper. Before starting your draft, review the research paper guidelines.
Research papers can be tough to write, but the peer review process presents an opportunity to get assistance with the revision process. In order to get an adequate review, it's time to create a rough draft of the research paper. The clearer your draft, the better the review experience will be!
Here are a few important tips about drafting that you should keep in mind:
Use effective transitions between paragraphs.
Include only those details and sources that support your thesis. Don't go off on tangents or include opinions that don't point back to the thesis.
Each paragraph should have a topic sentence. A paragraph needs at least 5-8 sentences that fully and adequately support the topic sentence.
Use appropriate tone, voice, and persuasion.
Don't use too many quotations in your paper.
Cite your sources properly IN THE BODY OF YOUR PAPER (the text of your paper) according to MLA formatting.
Read your sentences aloud to check for run-ons and fragments.
Don't end a paragraph with a quote. If you quote something, your next sentence should be your own thoughts, analysis, and comments on that quote.
As you put this draft together, remember that it must be 8-10 pages in length, include a minimum of five sources, contain a Works Cited page, and be formatted in MLA style. The title page and Works Cited page do not count toward the final page requirement.
Below is my actual research paper. I just copied and pasted it from my Windows Microsoft Word . The original is doubled spaced, has an cover page, and 9 pages. I just need a peer review of my work, then i have to answer questions based off your feedback and involve it into my work.
Thank you so much!
Martiana Byrd
Mr. Hickman
English 102
22 November 2014
Lupus and Its Lifestyle
Lupus is said to be one of the many disorders of the immune system, formally known as autoimmune system. In the autoimmune system parts of your body is turned against by the immune system which is supposed to protect. Many parts of the body including the joints, skin, kidneys, heart, lungs, blood vessels, and brain can be affected by Lupus. There are several different types of Lupus: Systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE), Discoid lupus erythematosus, Subacute cutaneous lupus erythematosus, Drug-induced lupus, and Neonatal lupus. Systemic lupus erythematosus is the form of the disease that most people are referring to when they say "lupus." As of today, there is no cure for Lupus. This research will focus on SLE and what can be done about it; namely, what is the definition of Systemic Lupus Erythematosus and what methods of treatments are available to ease the suffering of those patients? People diagnosed with the disease of Lupus should determine whether anti-inflammatory drugs, exercising rapidly, and some common lifestyle and home remedies are available treatments that successfully ease their suffering of pain. There is a better and healthier lifestyle for patients with Lupus.
Before going on with figuring out any treatments for SLE, a short description on if Lupus will affect you overtime, age, race or gender will be given. The differences in the sources arise when it comes to who is most likely to have Lupus. Are women most likely to have lupus then man? Are pregnant women diagnosed with Lupus most likely going to have their child diagnosed with Lupus also? Are African-Americans more likely to get diagnosed with SLE? African Americans are said to be more likely to get Lupus than any other race and "Ninety percent of people who get lupus are women, and most develop the condition during their child-bearing years" (How Lupus Progress Over Time. par.2) by Chris Iliades, MD. SLE usually first affects people between the ages of fifteen and forty-five years, it can occur in childhood or later in life as well. Although the symptoms of SLE can be mild or serious, it is still a lifetime disease once you are diagnosed with it.
"National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal and Skin Diseases", gives current and trustworthy information on SLE. It is listing information relating to treating Lupus, diagnostic tools for Lupus, pregnancy and contraception for women with Lupus etc. An article by NIAMS discusses how diagnosing lupus can be difficult and making a correct decision on whether someone is diagnosed with it. It is all on the doctor's best knowledge and the patient's good communication with the doctor. NIAMS expresses, "No single test can determine whether a person has lupus, but several laboratory tests may help the doctor to confirm a diagnosis of lupus or rule out other causes for a person's symptoms. The most useful tests identify certain autoantibodies often present in the blood of people with lupus". In other words, the process of discovering if someone id diagnosed with the disease of lupus will cannot be discovered from one test. Lupus is not something you are necessarily born with, but you may get it later I life.
As already stated, there has yet to be a cure for Lupus. Taking anti-inflammatory drugs are important for patients with Lupus and trying to better with living with it. Studies show that inflammatory drugs are the most common used drug that relieves many of the symptoms of lupus by decreasing inflammation and its pain. Prime medication, "For many people with lupus, an anti-inflammatory drug may be the only medication they need to control their lupus". (LU?US Foundations of America. par1.). There are different kinds of medication for patients with lupus, which is determined by the age, sex, and current symptoms. Different medications works differently for each patient, "Ibuprofen and Aleve are two of the anti-inflammatory drugs that I use for when I am in pain or when I feel pain is coming...both was recommended from my Doctor. (Monique Dudley). It is important that patients with lupus communicate thoroughly with their doctor on treated treatments. We have discussed a brief description on Lupus and its difference of effects on age, race, and gender. An article shares how medication is a high source of treatment, and one of the first treatments discovered for patients with lupus. It states,
"Aspirin is a pain reliever and an anti-inflammatory that was one of the first medications approved for lupus treatment. Because high doses of aspirin can cause many side effects, it's commonly used in lupus today only in low doses to reduce the risk of blood clots - a common complication of lupus."(Everyday Heath.)
In other words, aspirin was the first discovered medication available to patients with lupus. It has side effects which decreases the rick of blood clots in your body. Studies have shown that patients who are well-informed and participate actively in their own care experience less pain, make fewer visits to the doctor, build self-confidence, and remain more active. This is a great treatment for patients with lupus, because although they have to live the rest of their lives with Lupus, they are blessed enough to have a treatment to help them live better lives.
Exercising is the second most successful treatment for patients with Lupus. Studies show that exercising rapidly is a highly recommended and necessary treatment that doctors insist of patients with Lupus to do. Taking good care of your body is important fact that Lupus patients must pursue, "Get regular exercise. Exercise can help you recover from a flare, reduce your risk of heart attack, help fight depression and promote general well-being."(Mayo Clinic: Disease and Conditions Lupus.) Although a high amount of exercise is recommended for lupus patients, a healthy diet plan is just as important. Staying away from certain foods is a necessity for lupus patients. Lupus patient Monique Dudley states how she stays away from certain foods, and works on staying in shape, "Eat probably daily. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Staying away from fried foods is one thing my doctor asked me to do". Eating healthy foods such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains etc. is an better choice of healthy treatment then eating cheeseburgers, candies, pancakes etc.; not only for patients with lupus, but others without. Exercising and eating right will give you more energy and gives a better lifestyle.
The last important treatment to ease lupus patients is to remain positive and happy at all times. Being positive, making lifestyle adjustments, altering your daily and weekly routines and commitments are some common remedies that are important for patients with Lupus. There are plenty of home remedy treatments available that eases patient's pain that is diagnosed with lupus. I am sure there are a lot of home remedies that patients with lupus have come up with or was given to by their doctors. Protecting your skin from the heat and sun is something patients must do. Making sure your bones and skin care, "...and rest your muscles and bones in a hot bath (Jacuzzi) is a home remedy I use 3 days out of the week."(Monique Dudley.) Eating healthy is important and is drinking healthy. Drinking alcohol and smoking is some things that will increase the pain of Lupus. Plenty of articles state the importance in not smoking nor drinking as a lupus patient, "Don't smoke. Smoking increases your risk of cardiovascular disease and can worsen the effects of lupus on your heart and blood vessels. (Mayo Clinic: Disease and Conditions Lupus.) This has been a constant problem for patients SLE and their doctors. Doctors are starting to explode the sense of "More drinking and smoking, more pain" to patients then the need of exercising and eating healthy. Both are two important treatments that need to be done correctly, but the patients of Lupus need to stop doing otherwise for a better lifestyle. "Lupus patients need to take an ACTIVE role in their wellness and work a little harder to stay healthy..." Doctors can only do some much for patients with lupus, but the patients themselves have to be willing to do the work. "One approach is to keep a diary or journal of how you feel and what the circumstances are when you have a good or not so good day."(Lupus International.) There are important steps to care for your body and simple things that can help you prevent lupus flares and symptoms lupus patients experience daily. Many articles explain how important it is that patients with lupus to get a constant level of sleep and rest daily. A specific article gifts lectures and key points of treatments for lupus. It states,
"Get adequate rest. People with lupus often experience persistent fatigue that's different from normal tiredness and that isn't necessarily relieved by rest. For that reason, it can be hard to judge when you need to SLOW down. Get plenty of sleep a night and naps or breaks during the day as needed."(Mayo Clinic: Disease and Conditions Lupus)
In other words, it is important to get a strong amount of sleep a day. Not enough sleep, food, and having a fast paste day full of duties is not healthy. This is a problem not only for patients with lupus that does so, but those without. Health is not only important for patients with lupus, but also other without. This leaves the responsibility of the patients to put them first.
In all a better understanding on SLE, all its possible treatments, common symptoms, and wanting to help those SLE patients to a better lifestyle is given. SLE is much of a harsh disease than any other disease out in this world. That makes SLE to be such a complex disease. It is important that we find more and more treatments, and the best treatments to help patients symptoms diagnosed with lupus. There is so much more information that scientist is still researching. We need to all be aware and educated on the disease of Lupus, because you can be diagnosed with this disease at any time. This is an important topic, and if not taking seriously or into consideration you will not be prepared if it happens to you or anyone you know. Systemic Lupus Erythematosus is as big of a disease as cancer, and can be treated properly if diagnosed.
Works Cited
Clin ,Kidney J."Increased Risk of Death in African American Patients with End-stage Renal Disease Secondary to Lupus." Clinical Kidney Journals. 2 January 2014. Web. 22 November 2014
LLiades, Chris." How Lupus Progress Overtime". Everyday Health, LLC. 4 June 2009. Web. 22 November 2014
NIAMS. "Handout on Health: SLE" National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal and Skin Disease (NIH). May 2013. Web. 22 November 2014
"What medications are used to treat lupus?". LU?US Foundation of America. 12 July 2013. Web. 22 November 2014
LLiades, Chris. "Medication Used in Lupus Treatments". Everyday Health, LLC. 4 June 2009. Web. 22 November 2014
"Living With Lupus". Copyright Lupus International. 2011. Web. 22 November 2014
Mayo Clinic Staff. " Disease and Condition Lupus: Treatments and Drugs". Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research. 26 Oct 2011.Web.22 November 2014
Dudley,Monique. "Questions on lupus and lifestyle". 12 November 2014. Interview. 22 November 2014
May you please give me feedback. I believe my essay could be stronger on a few different areas. First, I could improve on correctly citing my cites. Secondly, improve on building a stronger voice throughout my paper. Lastly, use more college level vocabulary throughout my entire paper.
Remember that the research paper will run between 8-10 pages, will integrate sources from a diverse array of resources using MLA style, will have a clear thesis/research question as the backbone of the paper, will avoid fallacious rhetoric, and will construct logical arguments to advance the ideas in the paper. In short, the research paper is where you fulfill the goals you set forth in your proposal paper. Before starting your draft, review the research paper guidelines.
Research papers can be tough to write, but the peer review process presents an opportunity to get assistance with the revision process. In order to get an adequate review, it's time to create a rough draft of the research paper. The clearer your draft, the better the review experience will be!
Here are a few important tips about drafting that you should keep in mind:
Use effective transitions between paragraphs.
Include only those details and sources that support your thesis. Don't go off on tangents or include opinions that don't point back to the thesis.
Each paragraph should have a topic sentence. A paragraph needs at least 5-8 sentences that fully and adequately support the topic sentence.
Use appropriate tone, voice, and persuasion.
Don't use too many quotations in your paper.
Cite your sources properly IN THE BODY OF YOUR PAPER (the text of your paper) according to MLA formatting.
Read your sentences aloud to check for run-ons and fragments.
Don't end a paragraph with a quote. If you quote something, your next sentence should be your own thoughts, analysis, and comments on that quote.
As you put this draft together, remember that it must be 8-10 pages in length, include a minimum of five sources, contain a Works Cited page, and be formatted in MLA style. The title page and Works Cited page do not count toward the final page requirement.
Below is my actual research paper. I just copied and pasted it from my Windows Microsoft Word . The original is doubled spaced, has an cover page, and 9 pages. I just need a peer review of my work, then i have to answer questions based off your feedback and involve it into my work.
Thank you so much!
Martiana Byrd
Mr. Hickman
English 102
22 November 2014
Lupus and Its Lifestyle
Lupus is said to be one of the many disorders of the immune system, formally known as autoimmune system. In the autoimmune system parts of your body is turned against by the immune system which is supposed to protect. Many parts of the body including the joints, skin, kidneys, heart, lungs, blood vessels, and brain can be affected by Lupus. There are several different types of Lupus: Systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE), Discoid lupus erythematosus, Subacute cutaneous lupus erythematosus, Drug-induced lupus, and Neonatal lupus. Systemic lupus erythematosus is the form of the disease that most people are referring to when they say "lupus." As of today, there is no cure for Lupus. This research will focus on SLE and what can be done about it; namely, what is the definition of Systemic Lupus Erythematosus and what methods of treatments are available to ease the suffering of those patients? People diagnosed with the disease of Lupus should determine whether anti-inflammatory drugs, exercising rapidly, and some common lifestyle and home remedies are available treatments that successfully ease their suffering of pain. There is a better and healthier lifestyle for patients with Lupus.
Before going on with figuring out any treatments for SLE, a short description on if Lupus will affect you overtime, age, race or gender will be given. The differences in the sources arise when it comes to who is most likely to have Lupus. Are women most likely to have lupus then man? Are pregnant women diagnosed with Lupus most likely going to have their child diagnosed with Lupus also? Are African-Americans more likely to get diagnosed with SLE? African Americans are said to be more likely to get Lupus than any other race and "Ninety percent of people who get lupus are women, and most develop the condition during their child-bearing years" (How Lupus Progress Over Time. par.2) by Chris Iliades, MD. SLE usually first affects people between the ages of fifteen and forty-five years, it can occur in childhood or later in life as well. Although the symptoms of SLE can be mild or serious, it is still a lifetime disease once you are diagnosed with it.
"National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal and Skin Diseases", gives current and trustworthy information on SLE. It is listing information relating to treating Lupus, diagnostic tools for Lupus, pregnancy and contraception for women with Lupus etc. An article by NIAMS discusses how diagnosing lupus can be difficult and making a correct decision on whether someone is diagnosed with it. It is all on the doctor's best knowledge and the patient's good communication with the doctor. NIAMS expresses, "No single test can determine whether a person has lupus, but several laboratory tests may help the doctor to confirm a diagnosis of lupus or rule out other causes for a person's symptoms. The most useful tests identify certain autoantibodies often present in the blood of people with lupus". In other words, the process of discovering if someone id diagnosed with the disease of lupus will cannot be discovered from one test. Lupus is not something you are necessarily born with, but you may get it later I life.
As already stated, there has yet to be a cure for Lupus. Taking anti-inflammatory drugs are important for patients with Lupus and trying to better with living with it. Studies show that inflammatory drugs are the most common used drug that relieves many of the symptoms of lupus by decreasing inflammation and its pain. Prime medication, "For many people with lupus, an anti-inflammatory drug may be the only medication they need to control their lupus". (LU?US Foundations of America. par1.). There are different kinds of medication for patients with lupus, which is determined by the age, sex, and current symptoms. Different medications works differently for each patient, "Ibuprofen and Aleve are two of the anti-inflammatory drugs that I use for when I am in pain or when I feel pain is coming...both was recommended from my Doctor. (Monique Dudley). It is important that patients with lupus communicate thoroughly with their doctor on treated treatments. We have discussed a brief description on Lupus and its difference of effects on age, race, and gender. An article shares how medication is a high source of treatment, and one of the first treatments discovered for patients with lupus. It states,
"Aspirin is a pain reliever and an anti-inflammatory that was one of the first medications approved for lupus treatment. Because high doses of aspirin can cause many side effects, it's commonly used in lupus today only in low doses to reduce the risk of blood clots - a common complication of lupus."(Everyday Heath.)
In other words, aspirin was the first discovered medication available to patients with lupus. It has side effects which decreases the rick of blood clots in your body. Studies have shown that patients who are well-informed and participate actively in their own care experience less pain, make fewer visits to the doctor, build self-confidence, and remain more active. This is a great treatment for patients with lupus, because although they have to live the rest of their lives with Lupus, they are blessed enough to have a treatment to help them live better lives.
Exercising is the second most successful treatment for patients with Lupus. Studies show that exercising rapidly is a highly recommended and necessary treatment that doctors insist of patients with Lupus to do. Taking good care of your body is important fact that Lupus patients must pursue, "Get regular exercise. Exercise can help you recover from a flare, reduce your risk of heart attack, help fight depression and promote general well-being."(Mayo Clinic: Disease and Conditions Lupus.) Although a high amount of exercise is recommended for lupus patients, a healthy diet plan is just as important. Staying away from certain foods is a necessity for lupus patients. Lupus patient Monique Dudley states how she stays away from certain foods, and works on staying in shape, "Eat probably daily. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Staying away from fried foods is one thing my doctor asked me to do". Eating healthy foods such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains etc. is an better choice of healthy treatment then eating cheeseburgers, candies, pancakes etc.; not only for patients with lupus, but others without. Exercising and eating right will give you more energy and gives a better lifestyle.
The last important treatment to ease lupus patients is to remain positive and happy at all times. Being positive, making lifestyle adjustments, altering your daily and weekly routines and commitments are some common remedies that are important for patients with Lupus. There are plenty of home remedy treatments available that eases patient's pain that is diagnosed with lupus. I am sure there are a lot of home remedies that patients with lupus have come up with or was given to by their doctors. Protecting your skin from the heat and sun is something patients must do. Making sure your bones and skin care, "...and rest your muscles and bones in a hot bath (Jacuzzi) is a home remedy I use 3 days out of the week."(Monique Dudley.) Eating healthy is important and is drinking healthy. Drinking alcohol and smoking is some things that will increase the pain of Lupus. Plenty of articles state the importance in not smoking nor drinking as a lupus patient, "Don't smoke. Smoking increases your risk of cardiovascular disease and can worsen the effects of lupus on your heart and blood vessels. (Mayo Clinic: Disease and Conditions Lupus.) This has been a constant problem for patients SLE and their doctors. Doctors are starting to explode the sense of "More drinking and smoking, more pain" to patients then the need of exercising and eating healthy. Both are two important treatments that need to be done correctly, but the patients of Lupus need to stop doing otherwise for a better lifestyle. "Lupus patients need to take an ACTIVE role in their wellness and work a little harder to stay healthy..." Doctors can only do some much for patients with lupus, but the patients themselves have to be willing to do the work. "One approach is to keep a diary or journal of how you feel and what the circumstances are when you have a good or not so good day."(Lupus International.) There are important steps to care for your body and simple things that can help you prevent lupus flares and symptoms lupus patients experience daily. Many articles explain how important it is that patients with lupus to get a constant level of sleep and rest daily. A specific article gifts lectures and key points of treatments for lupus. It states,
"Get adequate rest. People with lupus often experience persistent fatigue that's different from normal tiredness and that isn't necessarily relieved by rest. For that reason, it can be hard to judge when you need to SLOW down. Get plenty of sleep a night and naps or breaks during the day as needed."(Mayo Clinic: Disease and Conditions Lupus)
In other words, it is important to get a strong amount of sleep a day. Not enough sleep, food, and having a fast paste day full of duties is not healthy. This is a problem not only for patients with lupus that does so, but those without. Health is not only important for patients with lupus, but also other without. This leaves the responsibility of the patients to put them first.
In all a better understanding on SLE, all its possible treatments, common symptoms, and wanting to help those SLE patients to a better lifestyle is given. SLE is much of a harsh disease than any other disease out in this world. That makes SLE to be such a complex disease. It is important that we find more and more treatments, and the best treatments to help patients symptoms diagnosed with lupus. There is so much more information that scientist is still researching. We need to all be aware and educated on the disease of Lupus, because you can be diagnosed with this disease at any time. This is an important topic, and if not taking seriously or into consideration you will not be prepared if it happens to you or anyone you know. Systemic Lupus Erythematosus is as big of a disease as cancer, and can be treated properly if diagnosed.
Works Cited
Clin ,Kidney J."Increased Risk of Death in African American Patients with End-stage Renal Disease Secondary to Lupus." Clinical Kidney Journals. 2 January 2014. Web. 22 November 2014
LLiades, Chris." How Lupus Progress Overtime". Everyday Health, LLC. 4 June 2009. Web. 22 November 2014
NIAMS. "Handout on Health: SLE" National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal and Skin Disease (NIH). May 2013. Web. 22 November 2014
"What medications are used to treat lupus?". LU?US Foundation of America. 12 July 2013. Web. 22 November 2014
LLiades, Chris. "Medication Used in Lupus Treatments". Everyday Health, LLC. 4 June 2009. Web. 22 November 2014
"Living With Lupus". Copyright Lupus International. 2011. Web. 22 November 2014
Mayo Clinic Staff. " Disease and Condition Lupus: Treatments and Drugs". Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research. 26 Oct 2011.Web.22 November 2014
Dudley,Monique. "Questions on lupus and lifestyle". 12 November 2014. Interview. 22 November 2014