Writing Feedback / As the day goes by, the increasing of crime rate has never been stopped [2]

IELTS Writing task 2:

Crime rate is a problem all over the world. Some believe that crime prevention will make no difference. Discuss both views and give your opinion!

As the day goes by, the increasing of crime rate has never been stopped, moreover has grown to be worse and worse along with the born of new kinds of criminality. It has been spreading and growing the many kinds of sectors around the world. Cyber crime is one of those. Beside that, as we call by "Primitive Crime" such as robbery, pickpocket, and etc. are still happened everywhere.

Ironically, even we have a Police officer as a government agent who has responsibility to solve those cases, the condition has never changed. Simply, we could say that government is failed. It does not mean that I have underestimated my honorable government, but as a fact, we can see it clearly. The wide border between the government agents-the police-with the society is one of the main reason why the crime rate's problem can not be solved yet, until today. Without the good cooperation between the police as a government agent and the society, the crime will not be able to be prevented, and the criminality has never been stopped. The new strategy is needed to deal with it.

Firstly, Police officers should change their imagery, which change the arrogantly and the rough of police's image to be soft and with full of hospitality. The good imagery of the Police might be able to attract the society and rebuild the range between them to be close. Gaining the intention of the society means gaining the society's belief; therefore it can bring the police closely involved as a part of the society. Along with this new condition, gradually Police can be a good figure for the society, be a hero for the teens, while it can be more easily to give the advices in order to prevent the crime in the future.

Lastly, The Police must also give more attention to the teens. Education side is one of the appropriate fields that can be involved with, through giving the materials, or even just showing the good figure to the teens. Police can save them from the criminality in the future.

In my conclusion, the criminality can be solved and prevented as long as the police is able to get involved in the society and arrange the good cooperation between them.

Writing Feedback / The global issues about taking job or traveling than go to university directly IELTS TASK 2 [2]

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

That makes a sense, when everyone believe that go to work or go travel is better for the youth than just end their time on the desk and chair inside their school building. Admittedly, the youth can reach so many kinds of experiences by go out from the school, see a lot of things around the world when they go to travel and feel the hardest part that he/she will face in the future as a mature to earn money for living by trying to take a job earlier.

In the other hand, those two kinds of activities sometimes can bring the youth too far leaving their important moment to study behind. It might be happen when the youth is too far involved with the kind of activity and then forget that they still have to continue their study. Taking a job for example, it is often happen, when the youth has enjoyed the job they got, got the nice salary he never expected before; he/she would choose to keep upgrade their position on the workplace than back to school that might stop their career. Now, he/she has turned to be so lazy to go back to school, forgetting that maybe latter the workplace could fire him/her, whereas is not easy for him/her to get another job with his/her low education.

In sum, we can conclude that youth is a crucial moment for everyone's life. Every big goal everyone can reach in the future is depends on what he/she chose in this moment. Therefore, everyone is suggested to figure out what he/she will do in those ages, whether want to get so many kinds of live experiences such as go to work and go travel or manage their limit time to finish high school then go to university. Nothing is worse than others; youth just need to find what the best thing that is appropriate to them. Parents and every older man around those guys-youth-are the most important figure that can supervise and help them to find what they really need. Therefore, as a mature they should not just warn them, limit their step by giving so many prohibitions, but rather have to be open minded, always try to make a warm discussion, and support every choice they make.