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Posts by linglinzhang
Name: Linglin Zhang
Joined: Feb 26, 2015
Last Post: Feb 26, 2015
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: China
School: Hubei University

Displayed posts: 2
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linglinzhang   
Feb 26, 2015
Writing Feedback / We shouldn't ignore the underlying danger of spending great amount of time practicing sport; TOEFL [3]

Hi there new friends :)
Since I'm a freshman here I even didn't know how to start a new thread at first...I found the cute button after log in and gained the opportunity to communicate with you guys,it's my pleasure to meet you ;)

I will attend to TOEFL test in April 12 and I am not good at writing...I want to evaluate my writing skill,and gain more proposal of you.

I will appreciate your criticisms and suggestions a lot!
Nice to meet you again ~

Some young children spend a great amount of their time practicing sports. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

It is commonly acknowledged that doing sport is vital in one's life.Many parents send their young children to learn a kind of sports such as tennis and swimming.There is no doubt that practicing sport will benefit the children a lot,but on the contrary,spending too much time training sport will sometimes do harm to the young children,physically and psychologically.My reasons can be articulated as following.

[...]
linglinzhang   
Feb 26, 2015
Writing Feedback / We shouldn't ignore the underlying danger of spending great amount of time practicing sport; TOEFL [3]

Dear Alleb,
Thank you soooo much for such patient and careful review for my poor essay! Your suggestions are quite enlightening and useful for me.
Sometimes I just don't know how to add the relevant examples,I am worry about that add an example deliberately will make the reader feel bad for me.In fact,in 30 minutes I usually can't considerate too much,so I am easy to ignore adding more synonyms and giving examples.I have a lot to improve and just as you said,practice,practice and practice.

Still,there is one thing I want to consult you more.As you said that proper spacing of each words and sentences should be paid attention to,so how can I approach this?By using more subordinate clauses or combining short sentences with long sentences?

Thank you sincerely ^ ^
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